


The Feeling Series

by PattRose



Series: The Feelings Series [1]
Category: Almost Human
Genre: Established Relationship, Feelings, M/M, Memories, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-04 17:25:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 29,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Dorian examine each other's feelings and emotions.  </p><p>If you have an emotion you would like to read about, please send me an email and I'll get to it as soon as possible.  PattRose1@aol.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love

Do You Love?  
By Patt

 

Summary: For a change John is asking Dorian questions. Some of them are tough ones. Memories are tricky things.  
Warnings: None  
Genre: Slash  
Rating: Teen  
Word Count: 1093

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/doyoulove_zps34083ae9.jpg.html)

John and Dorian were watching an old movie on television when John asked, “So what’s wrong with you tonight, Dorian?”

“What do you mean? I’m having a good time snickering when I’m supposed to, why do you ask that?” Dorian wondered. 

“That’s just it; you’re not asking any questions. Something is on your mind. Now, talk to me,” John said. 

“I miss someone that meant a lot to me at one time and I just wish I could see him again and talk to him again,” Dorian explained as much as he cared to. 

John found himself getting a little jealous over this statement. Who in the hell was this person that meant that much to Dorian? John was going to find out. He decided to take the direct approach. 

“So, Dorian, who is it and why can’t you talk to him?” John asked. 

Dorian saw the jealousy in John’s eyes and almost laughed. “There is no need to be jealous, John. He was my creator. I used to talk with him about everything and now I don’t have anyone to talk to about things. I can talk to you, but you wouldn’t be interested in what I want to know or say. I was told he died years ago, so there is no way to talk to him anymore. He was a good, soul. I miss him a lot.”

“I’m sorry you miss him. It’s too bad you weren’t able to connect with him when you went online again. It’s a shame. I’m here for anything you want to discuss,” John offered. 

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you wouldn’t understand my connection with him. It would be like me saying, you could talk to me as easily as your brother. You know you couldn’t. It wouldn’t be the same. You and I have a fantastic connection together now, but our past connection is just that. It’s a past that didn’t include us together. I hope you identify with what I’m trying to say.”

“All right then let’s talk about something else. I have some questions for you and maybe you can tell me what the answers are,” John said. 

“Ask away, John.”

“When we are at work, do you ever think about anything but work? Do you ever think about us?”

“Yes, I do. In fact, I told Rudy about us. He can be trusted, I promise and he said he was glad that I had bonded with you. He thinks we are a good match,” Dorian explained. 

“But, you didn’t answer my question. Do you think about us at work? And if so, what do you think?”

Dorian looked confused for a moment and then became clear again. “I think about what we like to do in the mornings and wish we were off work so we could do it again. Is this what you mean?”

“Not exactly. I think about how I feel about you. Not what I would like to do with you. Oh, who am I kidding, sometimes it’s all I can do to keep from kissing you and getting all mushy on you,” John confessed. 

“Really? Now this surprises me somewhat. I didn’t think you really gave our relationship much thought outside of the home,” Dorian said. 

“I’m not sure how to take that. I have feelings for you. You must know this, right?” John asked. 

“Not really, no,” Dorian remarked. 

“Well, that makes two of us because you don’t tell me how you feel about us either,” John said, defensively. 

“You’ve never asked and I didn’t feel like it was that important to you,” Dorian said. 

“You’re making me sound like such an asshole. I think about us. I like us together and I thought you knew it already,” John said. 

“John, you love this movie and you’re missing it discussing something that doesn’t really matter,” Dorian pointed out. 

“I don’t matter to you?” John asked, quietly, even though he felt like screaming his head off. 

“That came out wrong, John. I’m sorry. Of course you matter to me, but it’s not like I can tell anyone at the Station. That wouldn’t work out well at all.”

“You said you talked to Rudy. What did you tell Rudy, anyhow?”

“I asked him if I was capable of loving someone,” Dorian admitted. 

“And what did Rudy tell you?” 

“He told me that my network grows as I experience things and didn’t see why I couldn’t love,” Dorian said. 

“Do you love?” John asked, seriously. 

“I’m fairly certain that I do. You are in my thoughts both day and night. I think about you at work when I’m supposed to be filing or typing, arresting someone or reading someone their rights and yet, there I am daydreaming about you. Do I love? Yes, I love you.”

“That’s really good to know, Dorian. Thank you for sharing that with me,” John answered. 

“You aren’t telling me how you feel about me. You have yet to say you love at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. Do you have a problem with loving someone?” 

“I’m a little gun shy. The last time I loved someone, they crapped all over me,” John reminded Dorian. 

“I know that, John. But, sometimes you have to live in the present time and go on with your life.”

“Have faith in me, Dorian. I’ll get there eventually.”

“Yes, I would guess so. And thankfully, I’m very patient.”

“Thank you for understanding me,” John said, smiling. 

“Let’s rewind this part here, so we can watch that funny section over again. I love watching Judge Dredd. I find it fascinating that he never takes his helmet off during the entire film.”

John laughed and said, “Maybe he was really ugly, you know?” I like this movie too. Things haven’t changed that much, have they?” John asked. 

“Certain parts make me smile and laugh and I’m not sure I’m supposed to be doing either. Some movies confuse me and how I should react.”

Let’s just watch this movie and not worry about anything, Dorian.”

“Sounds good to me,” Dorian answered and went back into John’s arms for the rest of the evening. 

Feelings were going to become an issue as time went on, but for right now, they were handling them just fine. 

The end


	2. Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian is suffering from butterflies and thinks something is wrong with him.

Butterflies  
By Patt

 

Summary: Dorian has to talk to Rudy. He thinks something is wrong with him.   
Genre: Slash  
Rating: Gen  
Warnings: None  
Word Count: 1083

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/butterflies_zpsff78a58b.jpg.html)

Dorian was able to get out of the bullpen quite easily. He told John he needed to check on something with Rudy. John told him to take his time, there was nothing pressing right that moment. So, Dorian left to go and see Rudy. 

There was something wrong with Dorian that Dorian couldn’t find with his internal sensors, but there was something off. He was hoping that Rudy would be able to tell him what it was. 

When he walked into the lab, Rudy was busy on an MX and Dorian asked, “Almost done?”

“Give me five minutes,” Rudy answered as he went back to work on the android. 

Dorian went in the back and plugged in for five minutes. He never liked to pass up a charge. Besides, there might be something wrong with him and maybe these sensors could pick it up instead of his own. But after three minutes, it wasn’t saying anything, so Dorian knew that something was wrong with him. His body must be turning on him. Maybe this is one of the reasons they took them offline. Dorian sighed and closed his eyes, hoping to just relax a little. 

“Dorian, I’m free now. What can I do for you?” Rudy asked. 

“There is something wrong with me and my diagnostics aren’t picking it up at all,” Dorian explained. 

“Tell me what’s wrong. What’s happening?” 

“I keep getting this strange feeling in the pit of my body that feels like there is something in there. I know it sounds bizarre, but it happens off and on all day long. Sometimes at night, too,” Dorian said. 

“Tell me when it happens,” Rudy said, being somewhat fascinated. 

“For instance, when I looked at John this morning, it happened for no reason at all.”

“What was John doing?” Rudy asked. 

“He was bending over the copy machine taking the copies out. Why would that have anything to do with it?” 

Rudy smiled and said, “Give me some other examples of when it happens.”

When John walked away from the desk to go and get coffee it happened again. There is no reason.”

“What were you looking at when he walked away?” Rudy inquired, smiling. 

Dorian thought for a moment and said, “John.”

“I mean what part of John were you focusing on?”

“I don’t understand,” Dorian answered. 

“You understand what I’m asking Dorian. What were you looking at as he walked away?” Rudy asked. 

“I was staring at his behind. But what has that to do with anything?” Dorian was getting more confused by the moment. 

“Do you get this feeling when John leans over and drinks from the water faucet?” 

“How did you know? Yes, that has happened twice today,” Dorian replied. 

“You are suffering from what human’s call butterflies in the stomach. It happens when you feel good about seeing a certain person and it makes your stomach feel odd. Sometimes it happens when you’re frightened of something. It doesn’t always have to be a good thing that you’re feeling. You’re more human than anyone cares to admit. You’re having butterflies in your stomach. It’s normal, Dorian. Don’t try and stop this feeling, it’s a way of growing as a feeling and loving android. You’re in love with John and appreciate his form. This isn’t a bad thing at all. Stop worrying,” Rudy assured him. 

“Thank you, Rudy. I thought I was going to have to be decommissioned. Now, I have another question. Do I tell John when I am having these butterflies?” 

“No, that’s only for you to know and feel. He’s probably having his very own set of butterflies in his own stomach when he watches and looks at you.”

“So, this is normal?” Dorian wanted to know. 

“Yes, it is normal. Don’t worry about it at all. It’s a good thing to happen. It means you’re in love,” Rudy stated. 

“Rudy, I’m so grateful that I have you to talk with about these things. Without your valuable advice, I would be lost. Thank you.”

“You are most welcome, Dorian. Now, get back to work before John worries and has butterflies himself.”

“No, I don’t want to worry, John. See, I’m having that feeling again, Rudy.”

“It’s because you’re thinking of him. You’re in love Dorian, face it.”

“I’m going back to the bullpen now. Thank you for everything you do for me, Rudy.”

“Have a good day,“ Rudy called out over his shoulder as he started working on his next project.

~~~~~

When Dorian got upstairs he didn’t see John at his desk and looked around. He was in the captain’s office. Dorian felt the flutter inside and smiled. Then he saw John smile and that made the fluttering more pronounced. Dorian sat down at his desk and started working on some paperwork. 

John came walking out about ten minutes later and smiled as he got to Dorian. “Everything all right?” John asked. 

“Everything is perfect, John. Thank you for asking,” Dorian answered. 

“Wow, you already finished typing up this entire report? You are so fast. Here are the next three if you want to get busy on them,” John said as he shoved the next three over to Dorian. 

“You can do one of them. I’ll do two. We’ll have them done in no time, John.”

Detective Stahl walked over to their desks and said, “John, we’re going to the bar for a beer after work, would you like to join us?”

Dorian was having those flutters again. 

“No, thank you, I have plans,” John answered. 

“You’re loss, John.” She said as she walked away. 

Dorian almost whispered, “Where are you going tonight?”

“I have movie plans, remember? You’re making me dinner and then we’re going to watch Rush Hour. Someone said it’s funny and good. I want to see for myself,” John answered. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to hang out with your friends?”

“Dorian, we have plans, now stop bugging me and get your work done and let me get mine done,” John teased. 

Dorian smiled at John and had that fluttering sensation again. Little did he know that John was having the very same thing because of the smile Dorian had given him. 

Butterflies were actually a good thing. They were both sure of this. 

The end.


	3. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian learns what a song really means and gets his feelings hurt in the process.
> 
> Warning: There be bad language here. Just once, but still, I like to warn.

The First Cut Is the Deepest  
By Patt

 

Summary: Dorian learns what a song really means and gets his feelings hurt in the process.  
Warning: Angst  
Genre: Slash  
Rating: teen  
Word Count: 1143

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/firstcut_zpsd6f9c021.jpg.html)

Dorian walked down to the records room to find John and John was talking with Valerie Stahl. This in itself wasn’t that big of a deal, but Dorian saw how close they were standing next to each other and knew what might come next. He started to get closer and saw Valerie go in for a kiss. John returned the kiss and then stopped when he saw Dorian walk up.

“Oh, hi, Dorian,” Stahl said. 

“Hello, Detective Stahl,” Dorian responded and didn’t sound that happy about it. 

“I’ve asked you to call me Valerie, Dorian,” she said. 

“I’m more comfortable calling you Detective Stahl. Detective Kennex, we have a call to go out on,” Dorian said. 

John knew Dorian was upset because he usually called him John. Yes, John was going to have to talk his way out of this one and quick. 

Dorian turned and left the room and John said, “See you later, Valerie. Have a good day.”

He had almost caught up with Dorian when Dorian began going faster. John was practically jogging to get to his car in time. John got his keys out and opened up the doors for both of them. 

Dorian still had not looked at him or spoke to him since the kiss. John was considering himself lucky until he heard a song playing from Dorian. It was The First Cut Is the Deepest and Dorian looked as sad as the song. 

“Stop being so melodramatic, Dorian. It’s not like we’re exclusive. We haven’t even talked about that,” John explained. _What are you talking about? You don’t want anyone but Dorian._

“I understand this song to mean, that the first time it hurts horribly, but the next time you’re a little more prepared and it doesn’t hurt as much. Do I understand this correctly?” Dorian asked. 

“More or less, I guess. Where are we going?” John asked. 

Dorian told him the address and John started driving in the direction they needed to be going. 

No one spoke for awhile and Dorian said, “I think you need to date, women.”

“Really, you don’t mind?” John wondered, aloud. (Yes, John was an idiot.)

“Why would I mind? We won’t be together any more. You can do whatever you want to do.”

“Whoa! Slow down. You’re breaking up with me because I kissed someone?” 

“Yes, John, I am. I don’t make you happy, so go somewhere you’ll be happier. That would be with the fairer sex and human. I wish you both well,” Dorian said and then started listening to the song again. 

John sighed and said, “Just like that you’re going to dump me?”

“Yes, I am. I had a feeling this would happen. You will want to be with one of your kind. It’s understandable. But, I can’t share. I just don’t share well. I thought I could, but I can’t. Instead, have a happy life with a human being who can make you happy and fulfill your every need.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be with a human, Dorian.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” Dorian answered. 

“It wasn’t anything, I promise. I’ll never kiss her again.”

“John, you’ll always want to. I know about need and longing. I insist that you date her. You’ll be happier,” Dorian pointed out. 

“And what about us, Dorian?”

“What about us? There is no ‘us’. I’m nothing but your android, fulfilling your needs for right now. And I don’t want to do that anymore. I’ll move back to the center tonight. Now I suggest we discuss the case.”

“Fuck the case, Dorian.” John parked on the side of the road he was traveling on and turned to Dorian and said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed her. It felt good being wanted and I haven’t been wanted by a woman in a long while.”

“All the more reason to date Detective Stahl.”

“I’m not going to date her. Her lips were nothing like yours,” John confessed. 

“I would hope not, she is a human.”

“No, I mean, it wasn’t the same as kissing you, Dorian.”

“Again, I would certainly hope not. She’s a human being and a woman to boot.”

“You’re making this totally difficult. I wanted your lips on mine, not hers,” John said. 

“Then why were hers there?” Dorian wondered. 

“Because I’m an asshole and don’t know a good thing when I see it or feel it. I’m sorry for everything I did today, Dorian. You mean more to me than she ever could. Do you understand that?”

“Not quite. I just don’t know when you’ll be kissing her again. You can’t tell her that you’re with a robot, so therefore she’s going to believe she can have her way with you anytime she pleases. There is just no way around it,” Dorian said. 

“I can tell her my heart belongs to someone else, how does that sound?” John asked. 

“Perhaps that could work. But, would you mean it? Would you be able to stay true to me, or would you want something better. I would understand, John. I’m very intelligent and know what a human might crave.”

“Well, you’re not too intelligent because I’m in love with you and don’t want anyone else,” John confessed. “I want us to be exclusive.”

“Love? You haven’t really said love before, nor have you mentioned being exclusive,” Dorian said, sounding lost. 

“I’m saying it now. I feel for you like I have no other. I don’t want to be alone anymore and you and I get along perfectly. I want you in all ways, so this means we’re together. Am I understood?”

“Yes, I think I understand you. You’re not going to cut me again next week, are you?” Dorian asked. 

“No, I’ll be prepared the next time, if there is a next time. We’ll be just fine, Dorian. Now, let’s discuss this case that we’re supposed to be on.”

“We have a dead body. Looks like a jumper, but we might be able to find cause to investigate for murder. You know how you love a challenge.” 

As John raced to the address, Dorian put his hand over John’s and smiled at his mate. 

_John loves me? I’m not sure what to do with this._

And on the other side of the car, John was thinking. _He’s holding my hand. I might be forgiven. I’ve got to grow up and show him he can trust me._

Both men were smiling as they continued their drive to the scene. It was going to be a good day. Maybe it would be a murder. 

The end


	4. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian is trying to get John to say something or admit to something. Will John do it?  
> Warnings: Bad language (The F word is used a lot.) Silly, is silly a warning?

Do I Have To Say The Words?  
By Patt

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/words_zpsd07dd642.jpg.html)

**At the Apartment**

“John, you can’t say it can you?” Dorian asked. 

“Don’t be silly, I’m not afraid to say or do anything,” John answered. 

“Nothing was mentioned about being afraid. I just know you can’t say these few words out loud. You might show them, but you can’t say them. Human’s are funny that way,” Dorian added. 

“Why are you always pointing out to me that I’m human? You make it sound like some disease or something. It’s not the worst thing in the world to be human, you know?”

“And now you’re dancing around the subject, so you don’t have to answer me,” Dorian teased. 

“You’re smiling so you’re not angry with me, right?” John wondered. 

“I’m not angry. I would just like to hear the words now and then.” 

“How would you like to play Monopoly with me?” John asked. 

“Wow, this is an all time record. Now, you’re changing the subject all together. No, I don’t want to play a game with you,” Dorian answered, sounding a tad irritated. 

“Do you think we’ll find anything on Rogers tomorrow, when we do the questioning?” John asked. 

Dorian started to laugh. “We’re going to discuss work now?”

“I always discuss work, you know that. I think Rogers knows something about the murder and he’s not saying anything. Do you get that feeling, too?”

Dorian smiled at John, the moron, and said, “Yes, I think he knows plenty. I don’t believe him to be the killer, but I think he does know who did it. So, that makes you wonder if it was a loved one he’s trying to protect, whether it be a family member or friend. Tomorrow, we’ll get something from him, I’m sure.”

“I agree with you, Dorian. You size up people pretty well, so I have no doubt that you’ll help me figure this out in no time,” John said. 

This time, Dorian burst out laughing. 

“What? Why are you laughing?” John asked. 

“It’s not going to work, Kennex. Buttering me up doesn’t work. You can say all the nice things you want, but we’ll still be in the same spot an hour from now. And that would be with you not saying those words.”

“You are mad, you just called me Kennex.”

“I do that when I’m pissed off. You know damned well that I just want one thing and one thing alone. You’re not going to give it to me, are you?”

“Why is this so important to you?” John asked. 

“It just means a great deal to me to hear it. I don’t understand humans and their fear of conversation.”

John stood up from the sofa and said, “Now that’s unfair. You’re picking on humans again. I have to tell you, that sort of pisses me off and I want to say, fuck you.”

“Now, was that so hard to say?” Dorian asked. 

“You wanted me to tell you that?” John looked confused. 

“No, I want the other words, but this is a start. Think about it and then talk to me,” Dorian said. 

“I have some questions to ask you, Dorian. Do you enjoy sex with me?”

Now, it was Dorian’s turn to look confused. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“Do you?” John demanded to know. 

“Of course I do. Just as you enjoy it, too. Why would you ask this?” 

John smiled and said, “Because you never tell me as much. I have to guess. You never say those words.”

“Okay… You want me to say I like fucking you and you fucking me?” Dorian asked. 

“Yes, I like hearing those words.”

“John, you’re getting way off track. Get back to business.”

“You know why I did that today at work?” John asked. 

“You said you didn’t do anything,” Dorian answered. 

“Okay, fine. I winked at Rudy. It’s not sexual. Just because I wink at you sometimes doesn’t mean it means the same thing with Rudy. You know this to be true, Dorian. So, let’s just drop this whole mess.”

“I’m not dropping anything, until you say the words,” Dorian replied. 

Sighing, John sat closer to Dorian and pulled him into his arms. Dorian pushed John away from him and said, “No way. Sex is not the answer.”

“What is the answer, Dorian?”

“Say the words and we’ll play Monopoly. You have my word,” Dorian said. 

“Do you promise to let me win a game or two?” John asked. 

“I’ll let you win one, John. Count your blessings.”

“Okay, then pretend I said the words.”

Dorian laughed again. “You are a very stubborn man, John. I’m wild about you, but you’re bull headed. Now, say the words.”

“I’m sorry,” John whispered. 

“Say it out loud, John.”

“I’m sorry,” John said louder that time. 

“Get the Monopoly game out and we’ll play one game before it’s time for me to charge.”

“Just like that, you’re going to forgive me?” John wondered. 

“Yes, just like that.”

“I love you, Dorian. I really am sorry.”

“I know you are, I just wanted to hear the words. Sometimes it’s nice to hear words, even if it’s I’m sorry.”

John got the game out and set it up in the dining room. “Come on, slow poke. I’m feeling lucky.”

Dorian laughed all the way into the dining room, knowing he would have to let John win now. 

The end


	5. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is being talked about at work, because he is too happy. What has happened to the grump?

I Can’t Stop Smiling  
By PattRose

 

Summary: John is being talked about at work, because he is too happy. What has happened to the grump?  
Warnings: None  
Genre: Slash Implied  
Rating: Teen  
Word Count: 968

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/smile-sun_zps1f0506a9.jpg.html)

John knew that he had to gain control of himself and soon. Everyone was starting to ask questions and they weren’t accepting his answers anymore. He overheard Valerie talking to the dick about him having someone new in his life. They just knew it was their business and had to find out. John looked over at his partner, who was oblivious to how John was suffering right then and saw Dorian smiling for no reason. This in turn made John smile and Valerie came by and said, “I don’t think it’s nice that you two share jokes and don’t tell us.”

Dorian smiled and said, “A cop walked up to a man and said, ‘Did you kill this man?’  
The man said, ‘No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature, so I would say he died of natural causes. Case closed’.”

Both Dorian and John burst out laughing for no reason, neither of them thought the joke was funny, but they had to have something to laugh at.

Valerie said, “You’re both weird. I swear, John, you’re starting to act like Dorian.”

Both of the men burst out laughing again, making Valerie even angrier. She left in a huff and didn’t say any more. John and Dorian were pleased about that. 

“Dorian, what are you doing? That wasn’t even a funny joke?” John whispered. 

“Then why did you laugh?” 

“Because you were laughing and that made me laugh,” John admitted. 

“I know the feeling. Sometimes all I have to do is look at you and I can’t stop smiling,” Dorian confessed. 

This made John quite happy, actually. “Well, let’s try not to smile so much while in the bullpen. People are starting to talk,” John said. 

“Talking about what?” Dorian asked, laughing loudly. 

“Knock it off, Dorian!”

“You have something you want me to knock off. Tell me what it is and I’ll take care of it for you,” Dorian teased. 

Captain Maldonado walked up to their desks and asked, “What in the hell is so funny?”

“Everything is funny today, Captain,” Dorian admitted. 

“John, get him out of here, he’s acting sort of weird,” she said. 

“I have a disease,” Dorian said. 

“What disease?” She wondered. 

“It’s the I can’t stop smiling disease. I really can’t. It’s beginning to affect my work, Captain,” Dorian said truthfully. 

“Both of you take off right now and come back tomorrow as your usual grumpy selves. Get out of here,” the Captain shouted. 

Both men grabbed their jackets and went running for the elevator. They were laughing the entire way. 

The captain started walking back to her office when Detective Richard Paul said, “That’s exactly what they were hoping for. They just wanted the day off. I swear, John Kennex is ruining that android.”

As the elevator door shut, everyone could hear them still laughing. The captain sighed and walked into her office and slammed the door. _Everyone should be grumpy at the same time._

Valerie knocked on the door and said, “Do you want to hear the joke that Dorian told today? It was stupid and they laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.”

“So, tell me the joke,” she said.

Valerie told her the joke and the captain started laughing. “It is a little funny, Valerie. He has an odd sense of humor and then he works with John, we can’t expect any more than that from him.”

Valerie smiled and said, “See you later. I have work to do.”

~~~~~

When John and Dorian got to the apartment, they picked up some movies and were going to just veg out in front of the television.

“John, I’m crazy about you.”

“Good, because I’m crazy about you, too.”

“What are we going to watch tonight?” Dorian asked. 

“I thought we might watch some dramas since we can’t stop laughing. We have to keep a straight face eventually in the bullpen.”

“That’s true. So, what are we watching tonight?” 

John smiled at Dorian and said, “Something that is going to make you believe in things that you wouldn’t normally believe.”

“Now, I’m interested, John. What is it?”

“It’s called The Green Mile. Very good, very sad but just so great. You’re going to love it.” John set the movie up and they sat next to each other and Dorian kissed John and smiled at him. 

“I know what you mean about not being able to stop smiling. I have the same problem,” John said. 

“There are worse things in life, you know?”

“Yes, I agree. Now, let’s watch the movie,” John insisted. 

Dorian sat closer to John and they both began to watch what John called a classic movie. And John was right. Dorian believed John Coffey could do exactly what the movie said he could do. 

When they were done watching, there were no more smiles. In fact, John had tears in his eyes and so did Dorian. He had never experienced that before, so this was something new. 

“I loved it, John.”

“I knew you would. You’re deep enough to understand a movie like this. Not everyone is.”

“It made me feel a lot of different things, including anger, hatred, anxiousness, friendship and loss. All of them were good feelings to have. Thank you for choosing this movie.” 

John smiled at Dorian and made Dorian smile back. “It’s back. We’ve got to get control of this smiling all the time, Dorian.”

“Someday, perhaps we will. But not today.”

The end


	6. Loving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian has come across a song that reminds him of John and John isn’t that happy about it. In fact, he’s downright embarrassed about Dorian bringing it up at the worst times, while singing it to him. At least he does it in private.

Angel Eyes  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Dorian has come across a song that reminds him of John and John isn’t that happy about it. In fact, he’s downright embarrassed about Dorian bringing it up at the worst times, while singing it to him. At least he does it in private.  
Genre: Slash Implied  
Rating: Gen  
Warnings: None  
Word Count: 662

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/AngelEyes_zps32c0340f.jpg.html)

“John, I’ve just discovered a new group from the old days that I really like.”

“Who? I’ve made song tracks for you from many groups. I didn’t realize I was leaving anyone out,” John replied. 

“Well, you couldn’t put everyone on the tracks that you have made. There are just too many groups. But I heard this song and looked them up. What a nice surprise to find they had many songs,” Dorian said. 

“Who are you talking about?” John asked. 

“Abba, have you ever heard them?” Dorian wondered. 

John frowned and asked, “Abba is who you’re delighted with? I don’t think any of their songs are that great, Dorian.”

John kept driving and Dorian played Angel Eyes and sang along with it. “This reminds me of you, John.”

“God, help me now,” John wished. 

“You don’t like the song?”

“Not really and I would appreciate it if you didn’t play this at work. It would be very embarrassing to me,” John pointed out. 

“All right, I will only listen to it and sing it while we are at home or in the car,” Dorian agreed. 

“Dorian, why do you have to sing it at all?”

Dorian smiled and said, “You do have angel eyes. It might embarrass you, but you have beautiful eyes.”

“Thank you, I think,” John stated. “What do you think about the Miller case that we got assigned to last night?”

“I think the man is guilty, but we don’t have the proof. We’re going to have to dig further and find something that will stick. I have faith in both of us, so he won’t go free.”

“Why do you think he’s guilty?” John asked. 

“He won’t look you in the eyes when he talks to you. He knows he might screw up and say something that would help you, so he looks at the table instead.”

“What if he’s covering for someone? That would make him have to lie and not want to look me in the eyes. Did you think about that?” John asked. 

“I hadn’t thought of that. Who would he be covering for? We’re going to have to do much more work on this before the case is done. I trust your gut instinct, John, so I’m going to start looking for someone he’s covering for.”

“It’s just a hunch, Dorian. I could be wrong.”

“You’re rarely wrong, John. And like I said, I trust your instinct. It’s better than any other cops I know of.”

“Thanks, Dorian and John winked at Dorian. 

Dorian broke out into song, singing Angel Eyes to John while he sped to work. 

“Get it out of your system, because you’re not singing it at the station house,” John warned. 

Dorian continued to sing the song and finally John smiled. He figured why try to fight it. Dorian was taken with him and his eyes. There were worst things in life than that. 

John parked in the lot and turned to Dorian and asked, “What are we not going to do while in the station or in front of anyone?”

“Sing Angel Eyes. I know this, John. I wouldn’t embarrass you on purpose. I’ll be good,” Dorian promised. 

“Thank you,” John answered. 

“But I can tell you that you do have eyes like an angel, even when you are acting like a demon.”

John blushed and said, “Enough about the eyes.”

“I suggest we go in and find out what Mr. Miller is hiding from us,” Dorian said, getting out of the car. 

“Good idea, partner. Let’s get to work,” John replied. 

And they did just that. 

The end


	7. Argue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dorian have an argument and Dorian’s feelings get hurt.

Thorn in My Side  
Part 7 of the Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: John and Dorian have an argument and Dorian’s feelings get hurt.

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/thorninmyside_zpsc2914b5b.jpg.html)

“What do you mean, I’m a jerk?” John asked.

Dorian glared at John and said, “Exactly what it sounds like, man.”

“Why do you always call me a jerk when you’re mad at me?” John asked. 

“Because when I’m not mad at you, you aren’t such a jerk,” Dorian replied. 

“What are you mad about this time?” John wondered. 

“You’re insinuating that I’m always mad at you. Well, isn’t that just special?” Dorian asked. 

“Just tell me what I said or did and I’ll apologize and we’ll move on like we always do. The jerk just wants life to be normal again.”

“John, why do you think I’m mad?”

“I don’t have a clue. Honestly, I don’t. You’re going to have to give me some hints for this one. We were watching television and you made popcorn for me and now you’re not talking to me.”

“What were we watching?” Dorian asked, rolling his eyes in exasperation. (Could one man be this stupid?)

“A movie, did you already forget?” John inquired. 

“No, John, I didn’t forget. What was the name of the movie?”

“Bird on a Wire. It’s a funny movie, didn’t you like it?” John asked. 

“What were your favorite parts?”

“I don’t know. I have a feeling no matter what I say, you’ll get angry so, what difference does it make. Just tell me what I said and put me out of my misery,” John pleaded. 

Dorian frowned and thought for a moment. Then he decided that he was going to get to the bottom of it and have it over with. “You said that Goldie Hawn had the nicest ass you had ever seen.”

“And?” John asked. 

“I take offense to you saying that someone else has the nicest ass you’ve ever seen. John, you’re a thorn in my side. Every time I think I’m getting away from the bush, another thorn gets me. I’m done being mad. Now, I just don’t care.”

John pulled Dorian into his arms and said, “I meant she had the nicest ass for a dead person. I adore your ass, you know that. Why are you so jealous?” 

“It was the way you were watching her move. I’ve never seen you do that to me,” Dorian pointed out. 

“DUH! That’s because you’re always walking away from me when I get to look at that ass of yours. You always miss me looking. So there.”

“You always watch my ass?” Dorian asked. 

“Yes, I do. And you have a mighty fine ass if I do say so myself.” John pulled him even closer and kissed him. 

Dorian kissed him back and said, “You’re still a thorn in my side, John.”

“But I’m only your thorn. No one else’s,” John teased. 

“Don’t make remarks like that about someone else’s ass again. Okay?”

John kissed him once more and said, “I got it, Dorian. Have I ever told you how hot it makes me to have you get jealous?”

Dorian laughed and said, “Lead the way.”

~~~~~

Later, lying in John’s arms, Dorian started to sing Thorn in My Side and this made John laugh.

“I promise, I’ll be good from now on,” John said. 

“I like a little thorn with my happiness, so it works out dandy,” Dorian said, jokingly. 

“I’m crazy about you. You do know that, right?”

“Yeah, John. I figured that out a long, long while ago.”

“Could you do me a favor, lover?” John asked. 

“Anything, man, what do you need?” 

“Could you get out of bed and shut the lights out and make sure the doors are locked?” John asked all pitifully. 

Dorian got up from bed and started singing Thorn in My Side as he locked doors and turned off all of the lights. Once he got back into bed, John was already sleeping. 

_He is a thorn in my side._

The end


	8. Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an argument, Dorian loves kissing and making up.

I Need a Man  
Part 8 of the Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: After an argument, Dorian loves kissing and making up.

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/needaman_zps85ec69a0.jpg.html)

Two days after their argument about Goldie Hawn’s ass, Dorian was making dinner while John was watching the news. Somehow, Dorian had been talked into making it when he didn’t even eat dinner. It wasn’t right. Everything was in the oven and they had an hour to spare.

Dorian stood in the hallway and asked, “How would you like to dance?” 

John got up and smiled. “I would love to dance. I get to lead.”

“Of this, there was no doubt,” Dorian kidded. 

Dorian walked over to the stereo area and pushed the button and he grabbed John and started dancing to the song. 

John asked, “You picked this on purpose, didn’t you?”

“I can’t help it, it’s how I felt right this moment,” Dorian explained. 

“I need a man?” John asked, laughing. 

“I do need you,” Dorian replied, seriously. 

“Then, why are we dancing?” 

“Foreplay, man,” Dorian answered. 

John laughed and kissed Dorian. He was so glad to be not fighting that he was thrilled. John led Dorian into the bedroom and asked, “Dinner’s not going to bother us, right?”

“We’ve got about forty-five minutes, John.”

“That’s enough for me,” John said dragging Dorian into the bedroom with I Need a Man playing in the background. Dorian made sure that it played a few times while they were fooling around.

~~~~~

While sitting at the dinner table, John said, “I wish you could eat with me.”

“I can eat, John. But it’s a pain in the neck to clean out,” Dorian responded. 

“Dorian, you have the finest ass I’ve ever seen,” John said as he was chewing his meatloaf. 

“What brought that up?” Dorian wondered. 

I just love staring at it while we’re in bed and out of bed,” John answered. 

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better about the Goldie Hawn comment,” Dorian rationalized. 

“No, I mean it. You have a fantastic body. Your creator should be thanked over and over again. He did a fine job,” John confessed. 

“I’d thank him if I knew where he was,” Dorian said. 

“Do you ever wonder about him?” 

“All the time. Some day I would like to find him and thank him for making me. Giving me this life was the most perfect gift he could have ever given me.”

“Let’s look for him,” John suggested. 

“I have looked, he’s gone. I can’t find anything on him at all. He may be dead for all I know. But if I had a chance to see him again, I would thank him and introduce you to him. You would like him.”

John finished his dinner and began to do the dishes and pots and pans. “Thank you for dinner, Dorian.”

“You are quite welcome. I like cooking. It’s very relaxing to me. I’m glad you liked dinner.”

“I always like your cooking. You’re very good to me, you know?” John asked. 

“Yes, I do know and pay backs are hell,” Dorian teased. 

Both men smiled at each other as John put the last dish away. Then he put the pans away and said, “Let’s watch a movie. What do you think about that?”

“I feel like laughing, so a comedy would be good. What do you suggest?” Dorian asked. 

“How about The Heat? It’s very funny, I promise you. I’ve seen it a couple of times and it made me laugh really hard,” John said. 

“That would be fine with me,” Dorian answered. 

John set up the remote to buy the movie. It was so much nicer than going out to see a movie at a theater, because at home they could make out on the sofa.

“You’re thinking about making out on the sofa, aren’t you?” Dorian asked, smiling like crazy. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I was. You are complaining?” 

Dorian smiled back at him and said, “No complaints, but I would like to actually see this movie. You usually get my attention and I never see the ending to anything. Let’s watch this one from beginning to end and I promise I’ll make you very happy when we’re done.”

“Deal,” John said, happily sitting next to Dorian on the sofa. 

“Take your leg off, so it can charge. Do that before the movie starts, John.”

“Yes, master,” John answered, laughing all the way into the bedroom. When he came out he was using crutches and had sweat pants on. John sat back down next to Dorian and smiled. 

“Don’t you dare smile at me like that. I know your games and I’m not playing until I see a movie from the beginning to the end. That’s my last word on it,” Dorian said, forcefully. 

They began to watch the movie and Dorian said, “She reminds me of you.”

“Sandra Bullock?”

“No, the other cop,” Dorian answered. 

“Very funny. I’m nothing like the other cop,” John stated. 

“You are, honestly. You could ask anyone. You’re a good cop, but lousy at dealing with people,” Dorian reminded him. 

“Yeah, that’s true. I wasn’t even thinking about that part of it. But, she has a great sense of humor,” John said. 

“No, your sense of humor is more like the agent.”

“You’re just trying to irritate me aren’t you?” John asked. 

“Is it working?” Dorian kidded. 

“No. So, do you like the movie or not?” 

Dorian smiled and answered, “I like the movie, John.”

“Good, I was hoping you would like it.”

John leaned into Dorian and they began to kiss. When John came up for air, he said, “I thought you said no making out until the movie was over.”

“I thought it over and I was wrong,” Dorian said, smiling. 

“Wanna fool around?” John asked. 

“I want to get down to business, no fooling around at all. Get your ass in the bedroom,” Dorian ordered and John listened for a change. He got his crutches, limped into the bedroom and threw himself down on the bed. 

Dorian smiled and John knew he was in trouble. It was that sexy smile that meant Dorian was going to make John come like he hadn’t in ages. 

And he did just that. 

The end


	9. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian is worrying about meeting his maker and once he does, his creator up and leaves him again.

Doubt  
Part 9 of the Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Dorian is worrying about meeting his maker and once he does, his creator up and leaves him again.  
Warnings: Angst  
Genre: Slash-Established Relationship  
Rating: Teen  
Word Count: 543

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/doubt_zps8948ebb4.jpg.html)

 

Dorian had been quiet for about six days and John was getting tired of not hearing Dorian’s voice. 

They were at the house and John asked, “Dorian, do you want to watch a movie or play music and dance?”

“Neither. You know darn well I’m not in the mood,” Dorian answered. 

“When are you going to be in the mood again? I’ve been lonely,” John whined. 

“I finally found my creator and had all of those questions to ask him and didn’t get a chance to ask any of them. Now he’s gone, and probably over the wall, so I’ll never see him again.”

What makes you think you’ll never see him again?” John asked. 

Dorian thought a moment and then answered, “Maybe it has to do with the fact that I doubt everything I say and do since I met him. I think he knew some secrets about why we were decommissioned and he didn’t tell me why. And I also doubt my good judgment, because when I met him he seemed like the greatest person on earth and then he left.”

“Dorian, you’ve had no problems at all, so why put worry into the equation? He seemed to be a little off in the head to me. Nice enough guy, just not all there. I think he spent way too much time with androids and not humans and didn’t know how to deal with both,” John said. 

“I also doubt the fact that I could become like that bad android. And what happens to me and you if this happens? I would be alone forever and you would too. He started such happy feelings inside of me and left me with nothing but sadness and doubt. I hope we see him again some day, John.”

“It’s okay to have doubt and miss a person, too. He was someone special in your life and of course you miss him. We’ll find him again, Dorian and I’m sure this time he’ll give you some answers. If he doesn’t we’ll tie him down and make him give you answer’s. I don’t like you doubting yourself or your emotions. You’re a good cop, Dorian. We’re going to leave it at that.”

“Thank you, John, for always having my back.”

“I happen to love that back,” John teased. 

“I was serious,” Dorian said. 

“So, who said I wasn’t serious? I love your back. I love your front, so basically, I just love you. I’ll always be here for you, Dorian.”

Dorian leaned in and kissed John. He couldn’t take it any more. John was so sweet and romantic that Dorian didn’t care about doubt right then. Then John just sat there on the sofa holding Dorian close until they both fell asleep. 

John’s last thought was there was no room for doubt in their lives. He was going to make this all better if it killed him and Dorian’s last thought was, why was the bad android so much stronger than himself. Did evil cause more strength? 

The end


	10. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both men have to learn to trust one another. There is no way around it.
> 
> Warning: There isn't one part of this that is serious. :)

Trust  
Part 10 of The Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Both men have to learn to trust one another. There is no way around it.  
Warnings: None  
Genre: Established Couple, Slash  
Rating: Teen  
Word Count: 628

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/trust_zpsdcd50b6c.jpg.html)

John and Dorian arrived at the address Captain Maldonado had given them and they knew they had to be very careful because they had no backup plan. If this went south, so would Dorian and John.

“I still think we should have called for backup,” Dorian noted. 

“Do you trust me, Dorian?”

“Of course I trust you, but trust can only do so much if we’re in the middle of a mob. We might need backup.”

“I can’t believe this, you don’t fucking trust me. You say you do, but you really don’t, or you would be willing to try this out with backup.”

“John, you’re being overly dramatic. Just call for backup.”

“Well, now that you brought it up, I don’t trust you either,” John said, sounding like he was six. 

“Fine, we’ll do it your way. I do trust you, but you don’t always make the best decisions when it comes to these types of situations. Lead the way and I’ll be your backup,” Dorian promised. 

John knocked on the door and it was opened by a beautiful woman with a welcoming smile. She said, “I thought you might not be coming.”

“We said we would, so we’re here,” John answered as they walked into the third grade classroom. 

“I hope I don’t have to tell you to please don’t tell or do anything with the children that their parents wouldn’t approve of. Am I understood?” she asked. 

“Mrs. Byrne, we have it all under control. Trust us,” John said as he took out his gun to show the class, making Dorian roll his eyes. 

Mrs. Byrne wondered if she had done the right thing in letting these two do the class on self-defense against being abducted. Well, it was too late now; she was going to have to trust them.

*

When they got to the car two hours later, John was limping. “Did you have to hit me so hard in the balls?”

“We were supposed to show them how it’s done. I told you to call for backup, they would have sent an MX and we could have punched him in the groin and he wouldn’t be in pain. But do you listen to your partner? Nooooo!.”

“Next time, really insist that I listen to you. Do you think we got the point across to these kids today? With that man abducting school children, we couldn’t take any chances,” John said. 

“I think that we gave a good show and tell. The teacher only looked freaked out about twice. That’s pretty good for us. Now, let me drive so you can rest your balls.”

“Dorian, it doesn’t hurt my balls to drive. You just want to drive all the time,” John argued. 

Dorian smiled and said, “After all, I did trust you and followed you in without backup.”

“And then punched me in the balls,” John said, sighing. 

“Just let me drive and maybe you could massage them,” Dorian suggested. 

“I need ice. I couldn’t believe they didn’t have ice there. It’s a school for crying out loud.”

“Well, next time, we’re taking some MXes with us. They’re going to be our punching bags,” Dorian instructed. 

“When is the next class? I have to heal,” John whined. 

“Tomorrow, now let me drive,” Dorian grabbed the keys from John and John let him. 

John got in the passenger side without arguing and said, “See, that’s how much I trust you.”

Dorian laughed all the way back to the station knowing that it had nothing to do with trust. It had to do with sore balls.

The end


	11. Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dorian are still giving classes for self-defense to the children at the schools about how to stop abductions. And the wonderful part was it was working and neither John nor Dorian was hurt in the process.

Joy is Like the Rain  
Part 11 of the Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: John and Dorian are still giving classes for the children at the schools about how to stop abductions. And the wonderful part was it was working and neither John nor Dorian was hurt in the process.  
Warnings: A little language  
Genre: Established couple  
Word Count: 1205

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/joy_zpsa1f78d07.jpg.html)

The man that had been abducting children from their walks home from school, seemed to be slowing down and Captain Maldonado knew it was because of the classes that John and Dorian and the MXes were showing the kids. Many children had been approached, but had gotten away. The department was very pleased with the news and the outcome. John and Dorian still had some classes to teach and today they had five to do. Maldonado wondered why both of them were in such a good mood. Something was going on and she wanted to find out. But at the same time, she didn’t want to rock the boat. Everything had been going so smoothly if you ignored the whining of Richard Paul about having so much work with Dorian and John being gone every day. Captain Maldonado had gotten quite good at shutting his voice out and that’s exactly what she had been doing for the last two weeks.

John, Dorian and two MXes were on the way to Jimmy Carter Elementary to give four classes and they were pumped and ready. This was their second week of doing the classes and they were getting good at them. The MXes didn’t seem to mind getting kicked in the balls, but that might be because they didn’t have any balls. 

John looked over at Dorian and said, “You look very happy today. Something you want to share?”

Dorian touched John’s hand, lightly and smiled. “I’m filled with joy today, that’s all. Even with the rain, I’m still filled with it. That reminds me of a very old song. It’s called Joy is Like the Rain. Basically it means that no matter what, the rain will continue to come, just like joy does. Anyhow, I feel very happy doing these classes. Do you believe that these kids we’ve been teaching are getting away from him from what we taught them?”

“I’m really quite proud of them, Dorian. We told them to stay calm and not act scared and they are doing just that. But he was still able to get one child, so we need to crack down on watching the schools. He’s changed his routine, too. Now, he waits until later and doesn’t watch for them after school, like he did. We’ve got to get that across to the parents to not let them out at night. And who is he? What is he doing with the kids? We haven’t found any bodies, so does he still have them? Is he hurting them? Are they dead? Or is he keeping them alive?” These were all questions that John had and he knew that Dorian couldn’t answer, but he felt better asking them. 

“You know I don’t know the answers to anything but I believe we’ll find him if we get an older child’s rendering from a sketch artist. We need to start somewhere, but where? He’s taken children from eight schools, so it’s not like he’s just after one school. Although, there are nine schools in the district and nothing has happened to anyone at the ninth. Why is that, John?”

John went to answer and one of the MXes said, “We don’t know the answer to that yet.”

“He was asking me. I think that might be it, Dorian. Maybe he has a child at that school and the kids there would know who he was. Or maybe he’s a teacher and they would know him from there. We need to check the teachers out again, except this time for absences at any time. He’s got to be using these children for something, what? What could he want them for?” John asked. 

The other MX said, “We’re not here to investigate the case, we’re here to teach self defense techniques to the children.”

“Whatever,” John spat out which made Dorian snicker. 

“Just remember the drill, 253 and 267. When we kick you, you have to drop like you’re hurt, because a human would be hurt if that was done to him,” Dorian instructed. 

“We understand the drill. You don’t have to tell us anything, we are superior and don’t need to be told by you,” 253 said. 

John could tell that Dorian was getting pissed but he didn’t blame him. These MXes really did think they were superior in all ways. 

They taught all five classes and Dorian went out of his way to kick the MXes as hard as he could. One time, the MX left the floor when Dorian did it. John rather enjoyed the kicking of the MXes and Dorian did a fine job. Once they got back to the station the MXes left them and went back to their routine. 

“God, I thought they were going to go home with us or something,” Dorian said, almost gagging. 

“We’re done with the classes in this district now, so let’s focus on the teachers or the parents at the ninth school. Let’s fill the captain in on what we’re thinking so we’re all on the same page,” John suggested. 

They talked to the captain and she decided she wanted them to focus on the teachers from the ninth school the following day. Dorian and John were just grateful that this didn’t include an MX in the mix.

*

Ten days later, they found their man. He was indeed a teacher at the ninth school. One of the children had given a pretty good description to the sketch artist and Dorian recognized him right away when they went to ask him questions. Then he fell apart and told them he was building a new school, where the children were going to listen to the teacher or be killed. They were relieved to find out that he wasn’t molesting them, he was just insane.

After they got him booked and everything was finished, John said, “Let’s go home, partner.”

An MX walked up to John and said, “You would do much better with your files and reports if you had an MX to help you get them done. We’re far superior with everything. It’s time to get rid of the antique you call your partner.”

“What number are you?” John asked. 

“394. Would you like some help with your reports?”

John stood back just far enough and kicked him in the balls, if he would have had any. Captain Maldonado came out of the office and said, “John, what are you doing?”

“I forgot we weren’t at school anymore. My bad,” John said, making Dorian laugh out loud. 

“Get out of here you two. 394, get back to your station and stop bothering John Kennex,” she called from her doorway. 

“Understood, Captain,” 394 said and left John side, but John swore he gave him a nasty glare. 

John wondered if they were as odd as people thought they were. They probably understood a lot more than anyone gave them credit for. 

During the drive home, Dorian sang the song that he had talked about. And John just let him because he was happy and filled with joy. He should be able to sing if he wanted to, right? 

The end


	12. Irritation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much to his unhappiness, Dorian is teamed with Richard Paul while John is testifying in court. Who thought this would be a good thing? Not Dorian. 
> 
> (Disgust is the feeling of choice.)

Impatient Irritation  
Part 12 of The  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Much to his unhappiness, Dorian is teamed with Richard Paul while John is testifying in court. Who thought this would be a good thing? Not Dorian.  
Genre: Established Couple  
Warnings: Language  
Rating: Teen  
Word Count: 979

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/impatient_zps3dfaf90c.jpg.html)

John had to testify in court so Dorian was following up on old case files and typing reports. Captain Maldonado called from her doorway, “Dorian, I need to see you.”

Immediately, Dorian thought something happened to John and rushed into her office. “What happened, Captain?”

“Shut the door and sit down. Nothing has happened. John is fine; he’s in court as he should be. I have a job for you and know you can do it well. Richard needs you on a case, where the MXes are too easy to spot, you won’t be as noticeable to a lay person. It’ll only take a few hours, Dorian. Remember, John wants you to experience new things through work.”

“So, do I get this right? John wants me to experience, disgust while he’s in court, because that’s what it will be? Captain, I really don’t want the case,” Dorian said, pitifully. 

“Dorian, I’m the Captain and I’m telling you this is an order. I’m sorry you don’t agree, but you have to work with Richard sometimes. It might turn out to be a great bust. Just keep that outlook,” Sandra said. 

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll report to him as soon as possible. First I have to go and gag and then throw up,” Dorian said as he left the office, making Sandra smile. Dorian always made it sound like John was the melodramatic one, but today it was Dorian, big time.

*

In the car with Richard, Richard was saying, “Wow, it must be odd to be working with a real cop. You probably don’t even know what to do.”

“Yes, I do, Richard, I ignore you.” Dorian just looked out the window and hoped this case would fade away. 

“Very funny, Dorian. You know that the captain said you have to work with me, so let’s make the best of it. What do you say?” Richard asked. 

Dorian made a gagging noise and then asked, “Could you pull over, I’m going to throw up.”

“Very funny, again, Dorian. I happen to know that you don’t throw up,” he said. 

“I’m going to see if Rudy can figure out how to do it when I get back to the station,” Dorian said, truthfully. 

“You’d rather throw up then work with me? Man, you’re wrong in so many ways. I’m a good cop and a good partner. You’ll find out today and probably never want to go back to Kennex again.”

Dorian couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. “Not going to happen, Richard. I like working with John.”

“I don’t understand that. He’s obnoxious to us and to you. He’s grumpy all the time and he’s an ass. Why would you want to be his partner?” Richard wondered. 

Dorian wished he could say because he was in love with him, but he couldn’t so instead, he answered, “He has his good days, too. And he’s one hell of a cop. Why do you think Maldonado keeps him around?”

“He’s probably sleeping with the boss, figures,” Richard said. 

Dorian looked at him and realized, he really was a disgusting person. “You can’t say that about him. That’s not true. Maldonado doesn’t sleep with the cops she’s in charge of.”

“You’re so naïve. A lot like the MXes. They believe anything. I’m telling you sometimes I have a blast fucking with them,” Richard admitted. 

“So, you’re telling me that you fuck with your partner?”

Richard looked at him and said, “You’re recording this, aren’t you? I should have known, you’d be just like Kennex. You both make me sick.”

“Why did you ask for me today, then?” Dorian really did wonder. 

“I have to go and question a witness, but he won’t have anything to do with MXes and I told him I would come with a cop. So, don’t light that face up or anything while we’re there,” Richard ordered. 

“Richard, I have little control over calls coming in, which light my face up, as you so fittingly put it.”

“Fine, just stay in the car then. I need to get some information and I can’t do it with a robot with me,” Richard said. 

“I’ll go in with you and we’ll talk him into coming to the station. How does that sound?” Dorian asked. 

“No, he won’t go to the station. Do you not listen? He hates MXes. So, fine you come with me but try not to light up.” Dorian could tell Richard was getting more disgusted by the minute. 

They arrived and walked into the place of business. Dorian didn’t say a word and stayed back to let Richard do his thing.

Two hours later they were back in the car. “What a crock of shit. He told me he had important information, he just wanted me to come by myself so he could shoot me. By the way, thanks for saving my life. I’m glad you called for backup as soon as you noticed a problem. And it was nice that they took over most of the work. Thanks again.”

Dorian smiled at him and said, “That’s what partners do.”

“Well, I thank you anyhow. I understand why Kennex likes you. You’re a good cop even though you’re not human.”

“Stop before I really do throw up,” Dorian teased and they both laughed off and on all the way to the station. 

Dorian wasn’t going to let John solve any cases if that meant he had to go to court, because he didn’t want to spend another day with Richard, ever, again.

The end


	13. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets a surprise from Dorian.

Surprise  
By PattRose

 

Summary: John gets a surprise from Dorian. 

 

Dorian knew he wanted to do something special for John’s birthday, so he delivered invitations to everyone that John would want asked to his party. Dorian was so proud of himself doing it on the sly. He hadn’t mentioned a word to John about it. It was going to be a complete surprise. 

On the invitations, Dorian had written that he wanted everyone there ahead of time so they could surprise John as he came through the door. He watched on a movie one night with John about a surprise party and had planned it since then. Rudy was going to be in charge of getting things ready at the house. Dorian had already given him a key to the house and everything. Dorian had taken John’s money in the form of his bitcoin and had paid for everything in advance. John didn’t notice because Dorian was the one that usually kept track of what he spent and where. Everything he and Rudy had bought was at Rudy’s place waiting for the big day. Dorian was so excited. He had never surprised John before in his life and he wanted to do something different in the worst way. Now Dorian needed to figure out what he could give John for his birthday that everyone could see. 

**The Big Day**

John was a bear at work all day long. He thought that Dorian forgot his birthday and he wasn’t a happy camper. In fact, he was downright rude and obnoxious to his partner all day long. Finally when they were getting off, Captain Maldonado called Dorian into her office. 

“Yes, Captain?”

“Shut the door and sit down for a moment,” she said nicely. 

“What can I do for you, Captain?”

“You can tell John Kennex to shut the fuck up. Dorian, there is no need to take that type of abuse from him that you took today. I’m sure he thinks you forgot his birthday, but he still shouldn’t have treated you so badly. So, I wanted to tell you that I asked the city if we could get an apartment and they agreed to one. Just a small one bedroom, but it’s something to start with. Then you don’t have to live with John anymore. You can be your own boss. He could pick you up every day for work and you could still remain friends, but now you would have your own place. What do you think?”

“Could I get back to you tomorrow?” Dorian asked. 

“Yes, tell me in the morning. In the meantime, we’ll see you in a short while. You’re taking him for dinner am I right? And then we’re all going to be at the house waiting?”

“Yes, Captain. He’s going to be surprised,” Dorian pointed out. 

“I hope he’s ashamed is what I hope,” she said, smiling at Dorian. 

“Everything will work out, Captain Maldonado. Don’t worry so much,” Dorian said as he walked out of her office. 

John looked up and saw Dorian walking towards the desk and he jumped up and said, “It’s about time, damn it. I’m starving.”

“We can stop at China King and get your favorites,” Dorian suggested. 

“That’s a good idea. I love China King. Get the lead out, Dorian.”

They got into the car and John asked, “So what did Maldonado want with you?”

“She wanted to tell me about living arrangements she had made with the city,” Dorian explained. 

“I don’t understand. You have living arrangements. You live with me. Right?”

“Yes, but I didn’t want her to worry about anything, so I told her I would sleep on it. It would be my own place. I never dreamed that I could have my own place,” Dorian said. 

“I didn’t realize you weren’t happy living with me,” John said, suddenly realizing he could lose Dorian. 

“John, I’m not moving, I’m just happy to know they came around with a place. That’s sort of nice. Know what I mean?”

“So, you aren’t moving?” John asked, sounding very insecure. 

“I’m not moving out, you big lug. I’m in love with you,” Dorian confessed. 

“Thank God. I thought my actions towards you today had pushed you over the edge. I’m sorry I was such a prick all day. I promise I’ll do better tomorrow.”

*

When they arrived at John’s house, everyone had parked far away, so he was none the wiser. John was still moody and snapping at Dorian. Dorian opened the door and turned on the light and everyone yelled, “Surprise.”

John looked at everyone and then looked at Dorian and walked right into his bedroom and shut the door. 

Valerie looked at Dorian and said, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, give me a few moments and I’ll bring the birthday boy out when I come back,” Dorian said. 

Dorian walked into the bedroom and found John lying on the bed facedown into his pillow. Dorian sat on the edge of the bed and finally asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

John answered, but it was muffled because his face was in the pillow. “I treated you like shit all day long and here you had planned something nice for me the entire time. I thought you forgot my birthday, even though I told you about it last week.”

Dorian rubbed John’s back softly and said, “Come on out. Everyone is worried. You have cake, ice cream and presents. You couldn’t ask for a better day than that. Get up, John.”

“I love you, Dorian. I don’t know why you stay with me.”

“Because I’m in love with you, too. Don’t think you can treat me like that all the time, because you can’t.”

John got up, blew his nose and asked, “Do I look all right?”

Dorian kissed his sweet lips and lingered there for a short time. “You always look fantastic to me.”

“Thank you, Dorian.” John got up from the bed and hugged Dorian to him closely. 

“Were you really surprised?” Dorian had to know if it had really worked or not. 

“DUH! Of course I was surprised. Let’s get out there and have some cake and ice cream. Two of my favorite things.”

They walked into the living room and Richard said, “What is this picture for?” He was holding up a large picture of John and Dorian at the station. Rudy had taken it and Dorian had it framed for the house. 

“It’s John’s gift from me. Got a problem with that, Richard?”

“No, just wondered.”

Everyone started talking to each other and the party was in full swing. Captain Maldonado took John into the kitchen and said, “Don’t you ever treat him as badly as you did today. He might not be human, but he’s still got feelings. Stop being a dick, John.”

“I promise, I’ll work on it. Thanks for coming, Sandra.”

They joined everyone else and had a wonderful time. John looked at Dorian once and mouthed ‘I love you’. It was a perfect day for Dorian. He had wanted to experience surprise and he had done it for John, but he had gotten some surprises that day himself. 

Life was good. 

The end


	14. Envy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian has to admit something to John and John totally understands for a change.

Envy  
Part 14 of  
The Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Dorian has to admit something to John and John totally understands for a change. 

 

John was eating the delicious dinner that Dorian made and finally noticed that Dorian wasn’t talking like he usually did while John ate. John knew he must have something on his mind. 

“What’s on your mind, Dorian?”

Dorian acted surprised that John was even talking to him and didn’t know what to answer. While he was trying to figure out what to say, John decided he would start the conversation. 

“I noticed that something is on your mind and it helps to talk about it. Some wise ass partner of mine told me that. Seriously, tell me what’s wrong. Don’t think about it, just say it.”

Dorian went to open his mouth and answer twice and nothing came out. John looked at him with worry and asked, “Is it us?”

“No not us. Just don’t know how to word it,” Dorian replied. 

“Do what I said, Dorian. Just say it, don’t think about it first. Open your mouth and let it come out.”

Dorian did as asked. “I find myself disliking you lately and am very envious of you. This doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it just means I’m envious of you.”

“What in the hell would you be envious of me for?” John asked, trying not to smile. 

“I wish I was human. I wish that I could eat and have a heart that pumps blood like yours does and I wish I could be more like you,” Dorian admitted. 

John moved close to his love and put his arm around him. “First of all, no need to want to be like me. I would give anything to be like you. So, I’m envious, too.”

“You’re envious of me? Why? What could you want differently?” 

John kissed him before he answered. “I would like to be able to hold my temper more. I would like to not be such an ass at work and I would love to have your eyes. They are gorgeous.”

Dorian smiled at him and reminded him of something. “Don’t forget that someone gave me those eyes, they aren’t just mine alone. All of the DRN’s had them just like me.”

“Not so. When we saw Darren, your eyes were a lot different than his. His almost had a vacant look to them a lot of the time. You’re never vacant. I could tell you guys apart in a heart beat.”

“Are you serious? Everything about him was exactly the same as me,” Dorian pointed out. 

“Then I would guess that you have a major personality going on in there because you’re way different than he was. You’re not only smart but your heart is full of good. I don’t care if it’s not a real heart, to me you have one. I would love to be like you,” John confessed. 

Dorian moved even closer to John and began to kiss him. “You always say the right things. I really respect and admire you for so many reasons. Do you admire and respect me, too?”

John threw back his head and laughed very hard. “Dorian, no one else would put up with my shit. So, yes, I truly respect and admire you for how you handle me. Everyone thinks you’re awesome.”

Dorian laid his head on John’s shoulder and mumbled something. 

“What did you just say?”

Dorian looked up at him and said, “I’m crazy about you.”

“You don’t have to mumble that, Dorian. I’m crazy about you, too. You’re the best thing in my life right now. So, no more envy for either of us. Okay?”

Dorian kissed him once more and said, “I made some dessert. Come on and I’ll get it for you.”

John smacked Dorian’s fine ass and said, “Now, you’re talking.”

The end


	15. Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian asks John to be kind for one day and promises something fantastic in return.

Kill Them with Kindness  
Part 15 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Dorian asks John to be kind for one day and promises something fantastic in return. 

 

“All right John, I have had it with your grumpy ass all day. Tomorrow is going to be a better day and do you know why?” Dorian asked. 

“I have no fucking clue, why?”

“Because if you can be kind for one complete day, I’m going to give you something you could not imagine for one complete day.”

“Sex for an entire day?” John asked, smiling like crazy with his eyebrows moving up and down. 

Dorian glared at him and then smiled back because he couldn’t help it. (John was just that cute.) “Everything is not about sex, John. It’s something else, something you would love.”

“All right, you’re on as long as it doesn’t include the MXes.”

“It does include them. Kindness is to be shown to everyone, man or machine,” Dorian pointed out. 

“Well, fuck. I don’t know if anything is worth that crap. Dorian, just tell me what you’re going to give me for a day of kindness.”

“No, it’s a surprise. Now, do we have a deal or what?” Dorian asked, giving John the evil eye. 

John thought for a moment and said, “Okay, deal. First thing in the morning, I’m going to be nice to everyone.”

Dorian smiled at him and said, “You just have to be kind. Kind and nice aren’t the same thing. Kindness should be shown to everyone everyday. Get used to it, it might work.”

*

**The following day.**

When John woke up, he wanted to yell at Dorian for not making coffee but remembered the deal he made with his lover and shut his big fat mouth. Instead, he walked into the kitchen and put coffee on. 

Dorian walked out of the charging room and John said, “Good morning, Dorian. How are you today?”

“I’m doing fine, John. Thank you for asking.” Dorian looked at John like he’d grown a second head or something. 

“Would you like to drive to work this morning?” John asked. 

“Yes, I would. Thank you, John.” Dorian liked this John. Well, at least he did so far. 

John had his coffee and read the news on the computer. He made small talk with Dorian and told Dorian a few jokes that made Dorian laugh. Dorian was shocked at how good John was at this. This might just work. 

Once they got to the station, John was nice and kind to everyone, including the MXes. MX-354 walked up to Dorian and said, “There seems to be something wrong with John Kennex.”

“Why do you say that?” Dorian asked. 

The android looked perplexed and finally said, “I will watch him for the day.”

Valerie walked up to Dorian and said, “What’s up with John? Did they do teeth work on him and he’s high on something?”

“No, not that I’m aware of. He’s just being kind, I think. It’s a nice change of pace,” Dorian said. 

“Maybe to you, but it’s freaking the MXes out. They are all in shock and telling each other to watch him closely. You better call off whatever bet you have going with him, Dorian.”

“No bet, he’s just in a good mood, Valerie.”

“Whatever,” Valerie said as she stormed off. Something was up with John and Dorian wasn’t sharing the news. 

Dorian was fixing a report that John had ready to go to the captain and Richard walked up to him and said, “Very funny.”

“What’s very funny, Richard?”

“I know this is some sort of joke. Kennex is never this nice and he’s being nice to everyone, including the MXes. Something is up and I just know it’s a joke on me,” Richard explained. 

“Richard, you’re being a little paranoid. Relax and enjoy his good mood. He had a good morning and no one has ruined it yet. Things are looking up.”

“So, he’s going to be this way all day long?”

“Perhaps, if no one pisses him off. He’s just really happy. Talk to you later, I have some work to do.”

“This had better not backfire,” Richard said as he walked back to his desk. 

Everyone got called to a crime scene and while they were in the car, John said, “This being kind thing seems to be working out just fine. Everyone is sort of leaving me alone. It’s great.”

“Ya, it’s swell,” Dorian said, grumpily. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me. I have time.”

“The reason everyone is leaving you alone is because they all think it’s a joke and they’re asking me what happened to you. So although your day has been peaceful, it has taken me about two hours to do a report I should have had done in two minutes. I’m just about ready to call this off,” Dorian said. 

“Oh, no you don’t. I want my surprise.”

“God, sometimes I hate you.”

“Really? Because I’m crazy about you, Dorian.”

“I know you are and I know you’re enjoying the hell out of this. It backfired on me and I’m sorry. I thought it would be good to show kindness for a day.”

“Actually, I’m sort of liking being nice. Sandra was even freaking out. I should do this at least once a month, don’t you agree?”

“No…” Dorian shouted. 

John burst out laughing and said, “Anything for you, Dorian. Here we are. Off to being kind again.”

Dorian found himself having thoughts of killing him. Then he smiled and thought, what’s different about this day? 

Everyone walked up to Dorian at the crime scene and asked, “What is wrong with John?”

Dorian had taken just about enough when Captain Maldonado walked up to him and said, “I don’t know what you did, but this has been the quietest day ever. I like this John. Keep him like this, won’t you?”

“No, it’s not my job to keep him like anything,” Dorian snapped, making Sandra smile. 

“You bet him something didn’t you? You’re making him be nice, but it backfired, I would guess?”

“You could say that,” Dorian confessed. 

“Go hunt up your partner and take the rest of the day off. I have enough people on today to handle this and more. Go…”

Dorian went and found John and said, “We have the rest of the day off.”

“You’re kidding, that’s great. Let’s go and get ice cream. I know you can’t, but I’d like to describe the flavors to you if I could.”

“No, you’re not getting ice cream. We’re going home. Get in the car,” Dorian ordered, making John laugh all the way to the car. 

As they drove home, Dorian said, “I don’t’ understand human’s at all. Or the synthetics, either. You were being kind and they didn’t know what to do with it.”

“So, tell me what will my surprise be?” John asked, happily. 

“I’m going to leave you alone for eight hours tomorrow, just like you did today. Eight hours of non-stop, no nagging and no arguing from your partner. That’s what you’re surprise is.”

“Oh hell, that won’t work. They’ll all be bugging me all day long to find out what is wrong with you. Let’s just call it even, how does that sound?” John asked as he put his hand over Dorian’s. 

“I should really let you find out how tough it was today. I was in a nightmare that wouldn’t end. And the MXes were the worst.”

John threw his head back and laughed, very hard. “I’m crazy about you, Dorian. And most of the time, I didn’t mind being kind. It was a nice new feeling for me. Tell me something, am I kind to you?”

“Yes, most of the time. And when you’re not, I usually let you know. Now, do you want some ice cream or not?” Dorian said as he drove over to the place John liked to go. 

“I love ice cream, but not as much as you. Tonight, I’ll describe bubble gum ice cream. It’s something everyone should know about.”

The end


	16. Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John hears that something might be wrong with Dorian and he worries before he gives Rudy a chance.

Anxiety  
Part 16 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: John hears that something might be wrong with Dorian and he worries before he gives Rudy a chance. 

 

Captain Maldonado stood in her doorway of her office and watched John Kennex. He was a nervous wreck. She hadn’t seen John this anxious since he had found out his entire unit was killed. Sighing, she knew she was going to have to get him under control. She walked out and stopped at his desk and said, “You’re with me.”

“Where are we going?” John asked as he grabbed his jacket and followed Sandra. 

“You’re off duty and so am I. So we’re going to our favorite place for a drink. I think we both need one,” she answered. 

“I think I should stay close to the station in case Rudy has some news for me.”

“John, doesn’t he know your phone number?”

“You’ve got a good point there. I’m sure we could get back in record time if Rudy called me,” John agreed. 

They got to the establishment and sat at the bar. That was their favorite place to be. John and Sandra were good friends. She was one of the few people he felt comfortable with. The other being Dorian. 

Sandra ordered John a stiff drink and got herself a soda water. 

“Wait a minute; I thought we were having a drink together.”

“I have to drive, John, you don’t. Now drink up and talk to me while you’re doing it. What are you thinking is wrong with Dorian?” 

The place was filling up and lots of people at the bar, so John didn’t feel comfortable talking about an android there. Sandra must have felt this because she said, “Come on; let’s get a booth before they are all taken.”

They got settled in the booth and she said, “No one is around. Now, talk to me.”

“Dorian is worried he is going to be decommissioned. And of course that makes me very anxious. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without him. He’s made my life a lot easier to deal with since he’s been in it. Wouldn’t you be anxious, too?”

“I understand the anxiety, John, but you have to remember that he’s having it too. He might have been overstressing and needn’t have been. Let’s wait and see what Rudy says.”

After three drinks, John wasn’t quite so anxious anymore. In fact, he was telling things to Sandra that she could have went her entire life without hearing. But she wasn’t going to mention it to him ever again. This is what she wanted. She wanted him to relax and let Rudy do his magic. 

John’s phone went off and it was Dorian. “Dorian, what are you doing calling?”

“It’s nice to hear your voice, too, John. Rudy said he wants to talk to you.”

“I’ll be right there. I’m only five minutes away,” John said, anxiously. 

“Is the captain with you?” Dorian asked. 

John smiled and said, “I’m not driving, she is. We’ll be right there.”

“Okay, now calm down and I’ll see you in five.”

John looked at Sandra and smiled. “He called, so this might be good, right?”

“We’ll find out as soon as we get there. Come on, slow poke,” Maldonado said with a chipper voice. 

John was out the door with lightening speed, which made Sandra laugh out loud. 

**In Rudy’s Lab**

John and the captain came walking in, well, she was walking John was jogging. 

“Slow down, John,” Rudy said, smiling. 

“Everyone is smiling but me. What’s going on?” John asked. 

“John, there isn’t anything wrong with Dorian. He had a sensor loose and freaked out. When you’re afraid you’re going to be decommissioned, you’re a little jumpy about things. But I repaired the sensor and his diagnostic came out perfect. He’s good to go. You can take him home, or rather, he can take you home,” Rudy explained. 

John hugged Rudy and said, “Thank you for fixing him. We were very anxious about this. Now we can go home and relax. You’re the best.”

“You are very welcome. The two of you are my favorite people in the world. Take care of him, Dorian; he looks like he had a few too many drinks.”

Captain Maldonado said, “My work is done. Dorian, take this drunk man home.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Dorian called after her retreating form. 

John pulled Dorian into his arms and said, “I’m so glad you’re all right. I was so full of anxiety that Sandra had to get me drunk to relax.”

Dorian whispered into John’s ear, “I love you, too.”

John asked, “Rudy do you mind that we love each other?”

Dorian was shocked at the admission, but still smiled. 

“I don’t mind at all. I’m happy that the two of you found each other. Now go be happy together and try not to be so anxious over things, Dorian.”

The two men walked out of the lab and Rudy smiled as he watched them leave. 

Once Dorian got John into the car, he started driving them home. “John, I’m sorry you were so filled with anxiety, but at the same time I’m glad you were so worried about me. It makes me feel really good.”

Dorian looked over and saw his partner sleeping and drooling a little out of the side of his mouth. Dorian even loved that about John. 

Things were going to be fine. 

The end


	17. Boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is a little bored and needs something to keep him busy.

Boredom  
Part 17 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Someone is a little bored and needs something to keep him busy. 

 

Valerie Stahl walked up to John and said, “What is wrong with your partner today?”

“Same as always, to me,” John answered, knowing that wasn’t true. Dorian had been a bear all morning, even at a crime scene. 

“Maybe he needs to get out with some of his own kind. Have you ever thought about that?” Valerie suggested. 

“I’ll bring it up to him at his next DRN meeting,” John said very sarcastically. 

She just glared at him and walked away. 

John sighed and knew that there was a problem and he guessed it was up to him to figure it out. Oh who was he kidding? He’d call Rudy and ask his advice. In fact, John decided while Dorian was off somewhere, he would go down to Rudy’s lab and talk to him about Dorian. 

John stopped and told Captain Maldonado where he was going and asked her not to bring it up to Dorian. 

“I don’t even want to talk to him today. I’m afraid he’s going to hit someone, namely, Richard and I’ll have to write him up,” she said. 

“I’ll try to get it under control tonight, Sandra. Thanks,” John said as he walked off and got on the elevator. 

Maldonado hoped Dorian didn’t ask her where John was. What was up with him, anyhow? He was starting to act a little like John and no one liked that about Dorian. 

**Rudy’s Lab**

“Hey Rudy, how are you doing today?”

“Hi, John. Are you here to ask what’s wrong with Dorian?” 

“Rudy, how do you know this shit?” John wondered, aloud. 

“I see the worry in your face. It’s nice that you worry about him. I’m glad that you’ve got his back at all times,” Rudy added. 

John smiled at his friend and asked, “Do you have any idea what would make Dorian less cranky?”

“Has he had any time to see Darren lately? Sometimes, a person has to spend time with an equal and that’s not meant badly about you, John.”

“I guess I thought if we were happy, that’s all he would need.”

“Think about it, John. You get to talk to me, the captain, Valerie and whether you want to or not, Richard every day. So, you have interaction between all of you on a daily basis. But Dorian never sees another DRN unless he sees Darren. Why don’t you suggest asking Darren over to watch a movie or something. See if that helps any,” Rudy suggested. 

“I’ll do that Rudy. Thank you for the suggestion. Valerie said something like it earlier, but I wasn’t willing to hear it from her. I’ll take you up on your advice. You’re the best.” John gave him a high five and walked out of the lab. John felt better about everything already. 

When John got upstairs, he saw Dorian at his desk doing paperwork and smiled. Dorian didn’t look happy at all. John walked over and sat down at his desk and whispered, “Hey, can I talk to you?”

Dorian gave him a weary look. “Why, what do we need to discuss?”

“I wondered if you wanted to call Darren tonight and see if he wanted to watch a robot movie with you so you could both laugh your heads off. It might be fun for both of you. You’ve looked a little bored lately and chances are, he is too. Call him and see what he’s doing. I’ll even leave you guys to discuss things without a human making any idiotic remarks the entire time.”

“Do you mean this? You wouldn’t mind if I picked him up and brought him over to the house for an evening?” Dorian asked looking like the old Dorian once again. 

“I’ll give you the keys to my car and everything. It’ll be fun for both of you. Tell him to charge ahead of time, so he can stay awhile,” John suggested. 

Dorian smiled and it was a real smile, not a phony one that he did sometimes to make people think he was happy. John knew right then that Rudy had been totally right about all of this. Actually, so had Valerie, but he wasn’t going to mention that to her.

*

John was lying in bed after his quiet dinner alone and heard Dorian and Darren walk in the front door. He could hear them talking and having a good time.

Darren said, “What is an androids favorite type of music?”

“I don’t know, what?” Dorian answered. 

“Heavy Metal,” Darren answered and both of the androids started to laugh. 

John moaned softly at the bad joke and hoped they weren’t going to do that all night long. 

Dorian walked into the bedroom smiling and said, “Why don’t you come out and say hello to Darren?”

Even though John didn’t want to move from the bed, he did. He got up and walked out to the living room and saw Darren sitting there looking nervous. “Hello, Darren, how are you?”

“Hello, John. I’m doing well, thank you. And thank you for letting me come over and visit with Dorian all evening. We’re going to watch a horror movie tonight. It’s one we’ve heard about but have never seen.”

“What movie?” John wondered. 

“Alien is the name of it. Someone at my work said it was good, so we’re getting it on the television tonight. Would you like to join us?” Darren asked, nicely. 

“Oh no, thanks. I’m reading. I don’t have much time for it anymore. So, this will get me caught up and you both can catch up with each other. Have fun,” John said as he headed into the bedroom. Dorian was waiting and pulled John into his arms. 

Kissing John Kennex was a treat, he truly loved kissing him more than anything. “Thank you for giving us our space. We’ll try and hold it down,” Dorian said as he gave John once last hug. 

John lay back down on his bed and started to read the book. He hadn’t read it in years. It was by a writer named Lawrence Sanders and the book was called, The First Deadly Sin. It was like reading a new book. John was so into it that he didn’t notice when Dorian came in and sat on the bed for a moment. 

“Hey, how’s it going?” John asked. 

“It’s very disturbing and we’re both sort of freaked out by it. Do you have any other suggestions that would be better for us to watch?” 

“Bring up a movie called Hitch. It’s a good one. It’ll make both of you laugh. And if you aren’t in the mood for laughing, then watch, I Robot. The same guy is in both movies. He’s really great. I think Hitch would be your best bet. Try it and see,” John said. 

Dorian kissed John again and said, “Thank you, John. If you need me, you know where I am.”

“Have fun, Dorian.”

Dorian walked out and before long John could hear Hitch playing and it wasn’t long and he could hear the two androids laughing very hard. John went back to reading and before long he was sound asleep on the top of the covers.

*

At three o’clock in the morning, John woke up and was chilled to the bone. He was going to take his leg off to charge it, when he realized he didn’t hear anything from the living room. He walked out and Darren was just sitting on the sofa all by himself, staring at the screen of the television.

“Hey, Darren, where’ s Dorian?” 

“He’s charging before he takes me home. I’m supposed to remind him to drive me in about two hours. We got busy watching the movies and forgot to charge. He let me charge for awhile first and then he had to do it. I’m sorry I’m still here. I know you probably wanted your house back to yourself.”

“Darren, I can take you home,” John offered. 

“That would be great, John. I need to charge before I go to work tomorrow. Thank you,” Darren said, standing up. 

“Let me grab my jacket and then we’ll go.” John grabbed it and got his keys and out the door they went. 

Once inside the car, Darren said, “That movie Hitch made us laugh a great deal. It was funny. Thank you for suggesting that one. Then we watched I Robot and we both liked it too. It was very different and I liked it. Dorian said he liked the first one better, but I liked the second one more.”

“I’m just glad you got to come over and spend some time with Dorian. He’s been lonely,” John said. 

“I’m not sure I understand that. Why is he lonely when he has you in his life? I have no one in my life, so I understand the loneliness but not for him,” Darren pondered. 

John had no answer for that, so instead just remained silent. 

The two of them talked about anything and everything all the way over to Darren’s place of living. He got out and smiled one last time for John. “Again, I thank you for the wonderful evening. I won’t forget it. Maybe we could do it another time.”

“Why don’t you call Dorian when you get lonely and let him know that you’d like to spend some time with him?”

“I will. And you drive careful going home. We’ll see you in a few weeks. Be well.”

John watched him walk into the building and then took off for home. He figured that Dorian might be almost done charging and then they could lie in bed together until it was time to get up.

John hit the stereo and You’ve Gotta Have Friends was playing which made John smile even more. He was glad that Dorian had a good time and that Darren did too. Now, it was John’s turn. 

The end


	18. Content

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John realizes that he’s very content with life and with Dorian. He’s not sure how he should take that.

Content  
Part 18 of the  
Feelings Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: John realizes that he’s very content with life and with Dorian. He’s not sure how he should take that. 

 

 

They were lying in bed together with Dorian talking like crazy about something at Rudy’s Lab and John realized he was very content with Dorian and his life. Should this bother him? John hadn’t been content for years and now with an android? As Dorian talked he continued rubbing and touching John making John want him again. John pulled away and pushed himself up on the bed and looked at Dorian. 

“You always make me want you again. Why do you think that is? I should be exhausted, right? Instead, I want to make love again. I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Dorian pulled John on top of him and began to kiss him again. They were really getting into it when John’s phone went off. “Shit, do you believe this?”

“Yes, I’m here, remember?” Dorian teased. 

John answered the telephone and said, “What?”

“We have a dead body and I need you here right away. He’s a close friend of the Commissioner, so he needs this wrapped up as soon as possible,” Captain Maldonado said. 

“Sure, we have no life,” John answered sarcastically. 

“Just hurry up, John.”

John got out of bed and said, “Geeze, I hate my job sometimes.”

“But most of the time you like it. So, let’s focus on that,” Dorian reminded him. 

They both got dressed and left for the crime scene. When they arrived it was a mad house outside of the home in question. 

Dorian looked at John and said, “This is going to be hard. They will expect special treatment, which isn’t right. Do you agree, John?”

“Of course I agree, but we have to make nice. So, let’s do exactly that. Let’s get this over with and maybe we’ll get a little sleep tonight,” John said, offhandedly. 

Dorian walked closer to John and whispered, “It wasn’t my idea not to sleep.”

John blushed and then got irritated at Dorian for making him do that at a crime scene. 

They put gloves on and walked into the house and saw Richard standing there talking to a woman.

John walked up to Richard, excused himself and asked, “Do you have time to take us through this?”

“This is Mrs. Colter and she’s quite distressed right now. The two of them just celebrated their thirtieth wedding anniversary, so you can understand why she’s upset.”

“Mrs. Colter, I’m so sorry for your loss. Do you have any idea who would wish your husband harm?” John asked, quickly. 

“I was just telling Detective Paul I have a list of people. He was not well liked among his clients.”

Paul said, “Why don’t you get the list and we can start with that.”

Mrs. Colter walked off to get the list and left John to talk with Richard. “So, what do you think is going on here, Richard?”

“Do I look like a fortune teller? I have no idea.”

“Where was Mrs. Colter when this happened?” Dorian asked, standing next to John. 

“She woke up this morning and found him dead in the kitchen. That’s all she knows,” Richard answered, “and she didn’t hear anything during the night. It might be because they used a pillow to muffle the shot.”

“Has anyone talked to the neighbors, yet?” Dorian asked. 

Richard looked put out having to speak with Dorian. “Maybe you should start.”

“I’ll do that, see you later, John.” Dorian walked out the front door and John felt very angry. 

“There was no need to take it out on Dorian, you know?” John asked. 

“He needed to get the neighbors questioned anyhow. So this worked out. Quit being so protective about your partner, it looks weird.”

“Fuck you, Richard. You’re protective of your piece of shit MX all the time. So, don’t tell me what to do with my partner,” John stated as calmly as he could. 

Maldonado walked in and said, “It’s good to see you boys getting along as usual. Now, clean up your acts.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” John answered. 

Richard just walked away without saying a word. 

Sandra took John over to the empty side of the room and said, “If you don’t want everyone to know about you and Dorian, you’d better watch what you say and do. You’re too protective. He’s right.”

“I’ll try to watch it from here on in, Sandra.”

“Find your partner and see if he’s found anything out,” she said, smiling as she patted him on the back. She really did like John. He was a good cop, just had a really short fuse. 

John started across the street where he saw Dorian talking to neighbors and felt that feeling again. The one making him feel content with his life. He was definitely in love. 

He reached the porch with four people talking at once to Dorian and John caught the last half. 

“There was a blue van. Not dark blue, but light blue, I’d say more towards a powder blue, sitting out in front of Colter’s house this morning at 4:00. This was a little unusual, so I took the license plate down. The number is on this paper,” the man said. 

“We can’t thank you enough for being so observant. We wish more people were like this,” John said as he shook the man’s hand. 

He and Dorian walked back to the car and Dorian put it into the system to see what came up. 

Within moments a felon named Mark Madsen came up and he had just gotten out of prison. He was a major person of interest. John said, “I’m going to tell the captain where we’re going. You find a good address for him.”

*

Once they arrived, there saw a light blue van in front of the house on Wayward Street. “Boy, did he ever find a perfect street to live on,” John said.

“Because he’s wayward, that’s bad even for you, John.”

“You’re just jealous because you didn’t come up with it before I did.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was just thinking of,” Dorian said, throwing his head back and laughing. 

They stepped out of the car and bullets started flying towards them. They both got behind the car and returned fire, hoping there was no one else in the house with him. 

The person that was there was probably Madsen, but they weren’t sure. 

Dorian used his extra loud speaker voice and said, “Mark Madsen, come out with your hands in the air and no more shooting. You’re surrounded.”

“I know you’re the only ones out there, copper.”

Dorian looked at John and burst out laughing. “Copper? Really?”

“Tell him the back up in on the way and he’s got little time to get out alive. Did you call for back up?” John asked. 

“Of course I called for back up.” Then Dorian did the loud voice thing again and said, “Tell us what would make you happy at this time.”

“For you both to drive off and leave me alone.”

Again, the men laughed quietly at what a moron they were talking to. Continuing his talk in the loud voice, Dorian said, “Why did you have to kill Mr Colter?”

“He was a son-0f-a-bitch and wouldn’t help me stay out of prison, so I thought he should pay for that.”

John looked at Dorian and said, “Oh, he’s a lawyer. Now I understand the hatefulness and reason to kill.”

“Not funny, John.”

“Tell him we’ll look into it for him if he gives himself up.”

Dorian told him exactly that and he came walking out the door, but it was with both guns blazing. John and Dorian had no choice but to take him out of commission. They didn’t kill him, they just maimed him. John went over and got his cuffs on him and took his guns away. 

Richard drove up and he and his MX got out of their car. “Want us to take him downtown?”

“No, Richard, an ambulance is on the way and they’ll take in into custody and put him on the right ward. He admitted to killing Mr. Colter because he was a son-of-a-bitch.”

“Kennex, how do you figure this shit out? That was the quickest close in the history of our cases, ever.”

“It was all Dorian’s fault, you see,” John teased, making Dorian smile and this made John have that content feeling again. 

“Just don’t forget to do the paperwork,” Richard reminded them both. 

Once they got the suspect settled into the ambulance, they got into their car and headed back to the station. 

“Dorian, did you see that shot I got in his arm? It was just perfect. It made him drop his gun and everything.”

“John, I shot him in the arm, not you.”

“Fine, we’ll wait and see what they say at the hospital,” John said stubbornly. 

“Let’s get that paperwork behind us and give Sandra a verbal report, also,” Dorian suggested. 

“I love these kinds of nights. And if we play our cards right, we can take the day off and sleep all day. Sound good?”

“John, everything with you sounds good.”

John took Dorian’s hand in his and drove like that the rest of the way to the station knowing he was fine with being content. He liked it, in fact. 

The end


	19. Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian needs to have a diagnostic run. Something seems to be wrong. A person couldn’t always desire another person, could they? 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: Bad language.

Lust  
Part 19 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Dorian needs to have a diagnostic run. Something seems to be wrong. A person couldn’t always desire another person, could they? 

Notes: This one was done especially for Nurse_Mari. She asked and I wrote it. Thank you for reading and asking for one. I had a good time writing this. 

 

Dorian talked to Captain Maldonado and told her he had to have a diagnostic test run because he thought something might be off. 

“Does John know?” she asked. 

“No, he’s getting coffee. I was hoping you could tell him something to keep him out of the lab.”

“I’ll tell him that you need a diagnostic done and Rudy had time. That’ll keep him happy. If a call comes in, he’ll have to take an MX out with him. He’s not going to like that part of it.”

When he arrived downstairs, he saw Rudy was alone and asked, “Rudy do you have time for questions? And they are very personal ones, too.”

Rudy said, “Sit down, my friend and talk to me.”

“You know that John and I are together, so that’s not a surprise, but I find myself wanting him all the time. I mean sometimes I want him even while we’re at work. I won’t go into details, but I’m having fantasies about the two of us.”

“Sit right here, I’ll be right back,” Rudy said as he walked into the back room. He shut the door and called John. 

“Rudy, is this you?”

“John, you need to come downstairs and talk with Dorian. It’s important or I wouldn’t have bothered you.”

“I’ll be right there, Rudy,” John answered and hung up. He took off for the elevator and didn’t even tell the captain where he was going. 

Rudy walked back out into the lab and said, “Dorian, these are all good feelings to have. It’s called lust. You’re lusting after your partner and there is nothing wrong with that. Most people would love if their partners lusted after them. So, you just need to calm down about it.”

John came flying into the room and said, “You’re fine. What the fuck, Rudy? I thought something happened to him.”

“John, Dorian has discovered lust and is lusting after you all the time and doesn’t know what to do with his feelings,” Rudy explained. 

“Dorian, why did you tell him? Why didn’t you come to me?”

“John, I thought you would think something was wrong with me. And I didn’t want to be decommissioned over this.”

“I think it’s nice that you’re lusting after me. Makes me feel all warm inside,” John said, smiling. 

Dorian smiled back and took a deep breath. “Even when I have thoughts of bending you over the desk and fucking you in the middle of the squad room?”

John blushed as he looked at Rudy. “Maybe you should leave us alone for a little while.”

“I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes.” Rudy left as quickly as John had come in. 

“Dorian, don’t say shit like that in front of Rudy. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want him to know how much you want me or how much I want you.”

“You think of fucking me in the bullpen, too?”

“Of course, I do, but I gain control and know it has to wait until we’re alone.”

“John, we’re alone now,” Dorian pointed out. 

“Not at work, Dorian. Never at work.” Then John pulled Dorian into his arms and kissed him very passionately. 

“What was that, then?” Dorian asked, somewhat breathless. 

“A preview of what’s to come when we get home. And if you’re a good boy, I’ll take you to the outskirts of town where we can make love under the moonlight. Do you like the sound of that?”

Dorian pulled John’s hand over his groin and asked, “What do you think?”

“I’m going to make love to you like you’ve never felt. I love you so much and this is going to work. Now, let’s get back to our jobs and keep the thoughts at bay or the captain will separate us for sure.”

Dorian pulled John in for one last kiss. “I love kissing you. And I love lusting after you. You’re very hot, dude.”

“Keep it at bay, Dorian. Telling me I’m hot isn’t helping the matter. Now, I’m hard.”

“Good, we’ll both be hard all day,” Dorian said, wearing a big fuck me smile. 

“I hate you sometimes,” John said as he kissed him once more, “now, let’s get out of here.”

Rudy came walking in and said, “You boys might want to stop into my restroom. It’s a one stall, one door restroom, if you know what I mean?”

“Rudy, I think we can handle our urges,” John said. 

Dorian almost laughed as he looked at the bulge in John’s pants. “Speak for yourself, John.”

“Rudy, you have to swear on your life that this won’t get out,” John said. 

“Oh man, you’re going to do me in Rudy’s restroom. Hurry up.”

“Just get in there before I change my mind. Rudy if the captain comes down, make up an excuse for us.”

They got into the restroom and Dorian looked around and said, “Not exactly what I had in mind.”

“You’re the one that wanted this. Now, do we do it or not?” John didn’t like the looks of the bathroom, either. 

“You’re right, it shouldn’t happen at the station house. I’m sorry, John. We’ll do it in the car on the way home.” Dorian started laughing at the look of horror on John’s face. 

“We’ll do it at home,” John said. 

“Sounds good to me.” Dorian opened the door and almost hit Rudy in the head. “Rudy were you listening to us?”

“No, I wanted to be sure you weren’t killing each other,” Rudy said, blushing the entire time. 

“We decided that work isn’t the place to have sex with your partner. You’re safe, Rudy.”

“Damn,” Rudy whispered. 

Dorian began to laugh all the way to the elevator and John just gave him a go to hell look. 

Once in the elevator, Dorian said, “He wanted to watch or listen.”

“You’re kidding me?”

“Maybe he thinks you’re as hot as I do.” Dorian loved making John uncomfortable. 

“Enough. My God, the next thing you’ll tell me is you want to have a threesome with him.”

“Would that make you happy, John?”

The elevator opened and John flew out the door, making Dorian laugh again. 

“I like being in lust with you, John,” Dorian whispered, after he caught up with him. 

John smiled at him and said, “Same here. Now, let’s get some work done so we can leave early.”

“Can I ask you something?” Dorian asked. 

“Send me an email. Everyone is watching us right now.”

Dorian typed an email as fast as he could and sent it off to John. John opened it and read, 

_John, I would like you to fuck me tonight, with me leaning over the kitchen table and you coming up from behind and me being naked in front of the open window where anyone and everyone could see us. Can you do that, John?_

John deleted the email and then cleared it from the drive all together and glared at Dorian. Then he got up and walked into the captain’s office and was in there for about ten minutes. Dorian didn’t listen, he wanted to be surprised. 

It wasn’t long and John came walking over to the desk, looking very serious and said, “With me, Dorian.”

“Always, John.”

John looked over at his lover and realized the man was really in lust with him. And he was in love with him too. He said the sweetest things sometimes. John was going to give him exactly what he asked for in that email. Now, he just had to make it home without exploding in his pants. 

The end


	20. Excited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is kinky and it’s not Dorian. 
> 
> Warning: John/Dorian/Rudy Things aren’t always as they seem.

Excited  
Part 20 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Someone is kinky and it’s not Dorian. 

Warning: John/Dorian/Rudy Things aren’t always what they seem. 

 

John answered the door and Rudy stood there and asked, “Could I watch that movie with you tonight? Dorian told me you were going to watch it and I’ve wanted to see it also. If you’d rather be alone, then don’t worry about it.”

John went to tell him that he’d rather be alone when Dorian came up from behind and said, “By all means, come in. Watch it with us. John is always cranky until he relaxes. Sit down and I’ll get you a beer, Rudy.”

Dorian brought out a beer for both John and Rudy. John sat down next to Dorian on the sofa and Rudy sat in the chair across from them. 

Rudy took a drink of his beer and asked, “So, what movie is this?”

“Rudy, I don’t think it’s your kind of film. It’s called All Over The Guy and it’s about two men in love, eventually.”

“Oh, John, I love this movie. Let’s start it. It’s a good one,” Rudy said. 

John got up about twenty minutes into the film and made popcorn for he and Rudy. Then the movie started to get a little better. John was starting to see why Dorian liked this movie. It was sexy as hell. John glanced over at Rudy to see if he was going to leave now, but instead was met with something he never wanted to see. Rudy was sitting there, panting and rubbing his cock through his jeans. John couldn’t help himself, he just stared at Rudy like he was unable to stop. Dorian started rubbing John’s cock through his pants and John jumped at first, then started to get into it. John realized when Rudy took his cock out of his pants, they were all excited. John was more turned on then he’d ever been before. 

Dorian pushed John down to the end of the sofa and took John’s pants off, then his underwear. Rudy was watching the entire thing rubbing his cock the whole time. Then Dorian bent over and started to give John a hell of a blowjob and John just thought he was excited. Now he was really excited. 

Dorian pulled up from John’s cock and asked, “Rudy would you like to taste John?”

John was freaking out, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want Dorian to know he was scared of this. He sure as hell didn’t want Rudy to know he was scared of this. Rudy walked over and knelt down in front of John and started to suck with earnest. John didn’t know what to do. Dorian was staring at him and could see that John was enjoying it. Was he supposed to enjoy it? Rudy really got into it and began sucking harder and taking in more of John’s cock as he worked on it. John was right on the edge and Dorian said, “Let him have it, John.”

John came down Rudy’s throat, throwing his head back and moaning very loudly. He couldn’t believe he had just done that. And now Dorian was moving over to him and kissing him and talking him down from his orgasm. Rudy stood up and said, “Would you like to do me, next?”

John didn’t know what to say. He was getting hard again, which he didn’t do that fast, usually, and he had to decide what to say. He didn’t want to hurt Rudy’s feelings, but he also didn’t want to suck Rudy off. He wanted Dorian. Dorian excited him like no other. 

“Dorian, you suck Rudy off,” John said softly. 

Dorian lifted Rudy up and laid him across John’s lap and got between Rudy’s legs and began to suck like a wild man. 

Rudy was very verbal while making love, so this was turning John on even more. Then suddenly Rudy started pushing his ass in to John’s dick. John started meeting each and every one of his thrusts back against him. Before long, Rudy said, “Fuck me, John.”

“I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. Dorian, help me,” John pleaded and both men stood and looked at him sadly. They were gone just as quickly as they had appeared and John didn’t know what was going on. 

John heard Dorian, and felt him rubbing his arms and hands. “John, wake up, man. You’re scaring me.”

John opened his eyes and saw it was just Dorian and they were in bed together. John was so relived that he flew into Dorian’s arms and said, “We’re exclusive, right?”

Dorian looked at him like he was nuts. “Of course, we’re exclusive. What makes you ask that?”

“You just asked me to fuck Rudy. And I couldn’t do it. You both were so disappointed in me. I just couldn’t do it.”

“John, you were dreaming, why you were dreaming of Rudy is beyond me. Rudy’s not yours, I am.”

“I know that. I know I was dreaming, but why was I dreaming about Rudy?”

“Was he watching us or something?” Dorian asked. 

“Yeah, he was. Maybe he’s lonely and needs a date, Dorian. Do we know anyone that would fit the bill?”

“Does she or he have to be human?” Dorian asked. 

“I guess not. Why?” John wondered. 

“When I talked to Darren the last time, he said he would love to experience sex with either a man or a woman. Maybe he could sleep with Rudy.”

“He’s not sleeping with Darren. Darren looks like you. I don’t want Rudy to have that same look on his face as me. We’ll find a human for Darren. Now, we need to find one for Rudy.”

“I’ll give it some thought. You’re very excited, John, would you like me to take care of that?”

“No…I want to just lie in your arms and get my breath back. I love you Dorian.”

“I love you, too. Don’t worry so much about Rudy. We’ll find him someone to love.”

Dorian looked over at John and found him asleep already, but his breathing was good and his pulse wasn’t up. John would be all right now.

Dorian lay closer to John and whispered, “I’ve still got it.”

The end


	21. Fondness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John realizes that he’s very fond of Dorian and it doesn’t bother him in the least. In fact, he’s happy.

Fondness  
Part 21 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: John realizes that he’s very fond of Dorian and it doesn’t bother him in the least. In fact, he’s happy. 

 

I’ll never forget the day Dorian gave me a new leg in appreciation for saying good things at his review board. What he doesn’t realize is that I would have said them no matter what. I’m a truthful person. And as long as I’m being truthful, I may as well admit to becoming very fond of Dorian. Not just love him, but a fondness for him that makes me feel all warm inside. Of course, I probably won’t share this knowledge with him, but it’s there between us and I’m sure he must feel it too. Sometimes he looks at me like I’m the best thing that ever happened to him and that makes me feel good inside and out. Sometimes, I wish that I could share this news with someone besides Dorian, but its better left between the two of us alone. Maybe I should tell Dorian about this fondness that I’m feeling towards him and make him feel good. There’s no reason why I should be the only one feeling so great. No, for the time being, I’m just going to bask in the feelings of fondness and be grateful he’s in my life. A person can’t ask for more then that. 

The end


	22. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian is trying to figure out a feeling that he’s having and John finally helps him with it.

Longing  
Part 22 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Dorian is trying to figure out a feeling that he’s having and John finally helps him with it. 

 

Dorian looked at John in the bullpen and smiled. He was such a good looking man and Dorian was wild about him. But he was smiling for some other reason. He just didn’t know what. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that ached now and then and he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly was happening to him. He might have to talk to John about it. He wasn’t unhappy. He wasn’t happy either. It was a feeling; he just didn’t know what the feeling was, yet. As he watched John walk into the captain’s office, he found himself watching the way John walked. He had a strong walk. But yet, there was a bit of vulnerability in it too. Dorian almost laughed. He was thinking that John walked like someone who was vulnerable. Why did that come to his mind? That’s the last thing John was. No, he was strong and had a good walk. One that Dorian liked to watch from behind or in front. 

When John came walking out of the captain’s office, he was smiling and Dorian knew that he had been laughing with her. This didn’t bother Dorian in the least. He knew that John loved Sandra in his own way and trusted her with his life. Dorian’s too. She was a good person and Dorian wasn’t jealous of her. So, the feeling was not jealousy. 

John sat down across from Dorian and said, “We have two days off this week. Do you believe it?”

Dorian not only believed it, because John didn’t lie, but he was having that pang of something in the bottom of his stomach. (If he actually had a stomach.) John looked worried for a second and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m glad we’re off two days. We need the time off. That will be very nice. Maybe we could grill dinner one of the nights and have Sandra and Rudy over,” Dorian said, trying to cover up his nervous tension. 

“Let’s go to lunch. I need to talk to you,” John suggested and went and told Sandra where they would be. 

When they got in the car, John said, “I know there is something wrong, so just tell me and we’ll fix it.”

“You have done nothing wrong, John. I’m not angry or mad or anything like that. I’m confused.”

Then John looked confused. “Confused about what?”

“I wasn’t going to tell you, but I keep getting this feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel odd. I don’t know what it is.”

“When does it happen, Dorian?”

“Every time I look at you walking away or coming towards me,” Dorian confessed. 

John smiled and held Dorian’s hand for a few minutes. “Are you getting the feeling again?”

“Yes, how do you know this?” Dorian asked. 

“It’s because you’re longing for me. You want me. That’s all. It’s good to have that feeling. Don’t worry, I have the same feelings for you all the time,” John explained. 

“Thank God. I was worried something was wrong with me. Now that you mention it, I do feel like bending you over the car and taking advantage of you.”

“Hey, don’t talk like that while I’m driving. I could get in an accident.”

“Don’t worry, John, I would give you mouth to mouth,” Dorian teased. 

“I love you. I hope you know that, Dorian.”

“I do know that, but it’s nice to hear you say it anyhow. That longing is back. I still want to do wild things with you bent over the car,” Dorian said, laughing. 

“And this is a good thing, Dorian. Never be afraid to tell me things. Okay?”

“I promise, I’ll try to talk to you from now on, John.”

They held hands all the way to the restaurant. Dorian was happy. 

The end


	23. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian is actually scared of something but doesn’t want to share that with John.

Scared  
Part 23 of the  
Feelings Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Dorian is actually scared of something but doesn’t want to share that with John. 

 

John and Dorian were sitting in the living room watching a scary movie when John asked, “Are you afraid of anything?”

“John, everyone is afraid of something. I’m no different.”

“Tell me what you’re scared of, Dorian.”

“I’m afraid you’ll make me watch another one of these horrible movies that you keep telling me are good. This one is horrible. I would have to kill that Freddy Krueger as fast as I could. He’s evil. What I find most odd is that people actually liked this movie. I heard two people at work talking about this movie the other day, saying how cool it was. It disgusts me.”

“I think it’s because you don’t get scared like an every day person. You’re far too intelligent for these types of movies. I’m sorry I’ve made you watch them,” John said. 

“I don’t mind watching movies with you, but I like them to be less evil and disgusting. Most of your other choices are good ones. I enjoy watching movies with you.”

“So, you don’t get scared, ever?” John wondered. 

Dorian thought for a moment and said, “I didn’t say that, John.”

“What are you scared of? I can’t see you being afraid, ever.”

“Why don’t we watch an uplifting movie for a change of pace? We could laugh or smile. I like that idea much better.”

“Come on. Are there a bunch of things you’re scared of, or just one?” John questioned. 

“There are three things, but I don’t wish to discuss them with anyone.”

“Why is it that every time there is something on my mind, we have to talk about it, but when something is on your mind, you don’t want to?” 

“John, it’s not going to change things talking about them.”

“That’s what I always tell you too.”

“Fine, you asked for it. The number one thing I’m scared of is losing you to another person or you being killed on the job. This is my biggest scare to deal with. The number two scare is me being killed and never seeing you again. I don’t like the idea of dying anymore than a human does. And the last thing I’m scared of is being decommissioned. To know that this could happen is a very scary thought that I have to deal with all the time. Now, you know. Do you think less of me for my fears?”

John moved closer to Dorian and took him in his arms. He kissed him once with a great deal of passion and then pulled away. “First of all, I wouldn’t leave you for anything. You’re stuck with me. I’m scared of dying too, Dorian. I can’t stand the thought of not being with you anymore. I wish you could tell me we’d always be together in electric dreams. Then, I might be less scared.”

Dorian kissed John this time and when he pulled back, he saw tears in John’s eyes. It was something that John never did. He usually was able to control things so he never got misty eyed. “John, I truly believe that we’ll always be together in electric dreams. I like that thought and I’m promising you to do that.”

“Then I can relax a little and know we’re safe. I’m crazy about you, Dorian.”

“I know you are. And I’m the luckiest man that was ever made. I’m crazy about you, too,” Dorian said, smiling. 

“Let’s go to bed, how does that sound?” John asked. 

“It sounds wonderful. Turn this crap off once and for all.” After John turned it off, Dorian pulled him up off the sofa and they walked hand in hand into the bedroom, neither of them scared of anything, anymore. 

The end


	24. Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone has gone and pissed Dorian off and they will have to deal with a very angry Dorian.

Rage  
Part 24 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Someone has gone and pissed Dorian off and they will have to deal with a very angry Dorian. 

 

Dorian was sitting at his desk in the bullpen when Captain Maldonado called him, “Dorian, I need to talk to you right now.”

Dorian didn’t like the sound of her voice so quickened his step towards the office. He walked in, shut the door and waited for something bad to come out of her mouth. He didn’t have long to wait. 

“Why are you here without John this morning?” she asked. 

“He had to run to the bank and take care of some business, why are you asking about John? Did something happen to him?” Dorian asked. 

“The bank was robbed and they saw that John had a gun and beat the crap out of him before he had a chance and he’s not moving in the video feed right now.”

Dorian stood then, silently and finally said, “I need three MXes to go with me to the bank. We’ll take care of it and make sure that John is all right,” Dorian advised. 

“I’ll get the MXes right now. Try and calm down, Dorian, getting so angry isn’t going to help John out at all,” Maldonado said. 

Dorian paced quickly back and forth in her office and said, “I’ll be calm when I find him and he’s all right. Until then, I’m not going to be anything but filled with rage.”

Maldonado called for three extra MXes to go with Dorian, along with Richard Paul and Valerie Stahl. They suited up and took plenty of weapons and Dorian drove one of the cop cars. Even the captain went along, just not with Dorian. 

Valerie said, “Dorian’s driving like a crazy person. He’s going to kill someone.”

The captain dialed her phone and said, “Dorian, slow down. You’re going to kill someone trying to save John. Get control.”

Dorian did indeed slow down and drive safer, but was still in a hurry and at least now Valerie was able to keep up with him. 

They pulled up in front of the bank and all got out of their cars. Dorian went right up to the commanding officer and said, “I would like to try and bargain with the robbers. I’ve been told I’m really good in these types of situations.”

“They’re not listening to us, maybe you could get in there and be our eyes and ears. You can contact your captain without actually dialing a phone, am I correct?” he asked. 

“You are correct. I don’t look like an MX, so they might let me get in. I’ll keep you informed.” Dorian walked to the front door with his hands up and wearing no gun on him at all. 

One of the robbers opened the door and asked, “What do you want?”

“I’d like to come in and see if I can help with the hostages,” Dorian offered. 

“No smart moves or I’ll kill you and a hostage. Just remember that.”

Dorian had a line open to Captain Maldonado and she could hear everything that was said. 

Dorian asked, “How many of you are in here?”

“What difference does it make?” 

“Well, I only see you, where are your partners? Are they holding hostages somewhere else?” Dorian was scanning for life forms behind the counters and found none. He saw John lying on the ground, with a big gash in his forehead.   
So, as far as Dorian could tell there were only eight hostages and one bank robber, but that couldn’t be possible.

“Where are the other hostages?” Dorian asked. 

“They’re in the board room. Everyone is thirsty, we need something to drink. Here is the phone, call and get something for all of us.”

Dorian did call and within moments had everything outside the door. The robber held a gun to Dorian’s head while he carried everything in. Dorian looked to see if John was at least breathing and he found himself filled with such rage, he was having a hard time controlling it. 

“May I check on the man on the floor?” Dorian inquired.

“First deliver drinks to everyone in the other room. Then, come out, do the same thing here and when your done, you can check the man on the floor.”

Dorian did as instructed and walked in and saw two very nervous men standing there with guns on the hostages. Dorian was fairly certain he could take them out without them firing a shot. He was at least going to try. 

Dorian handed out the drinks and as he got close to the robbers, he knocked them both out with ease. He put cuffs on them and put tape over their mouths. He said, “Everyone, remain quiet in here. Don’t let the man know that anything is different. I’ll be back, shortly.”

“Thank you, there was a man out in front that tried to help us, but I think they killed him,” an old lady said to Dorian. 

“He’s not dead, he’s just knocked out. Stay here until I come for you.” Dorian walked out of the room and passed the drinks to everyone in the front area. When he was done, he walked over to the robber and said, “Now, may I check on the man that’s down?”

“I don’t give a shit about that guy. He was trouble from the beginning, being a cop and I’m still thinking I might want to shoot him.”

“What is your name?” Dorian asked. 

“Marcus, why?” 

“I just wanted to know the name of the man I’m going to kill,” Dorian said and snapped the guy’s neck. 

He unlocked the door and asked one of the people to get the others in the back. Dorian went over to check on John and John was awake. 

“It’s about time you got over here. My head is killing me,” John whined. 

“It’s not like I could make your head stop hurting, John.”

“You did a good job, Dorian. Did you get all four of the bank robbers?” John asked. 

“No…There were only three. Where is the fourth one?” Dorian asked as he helped John get up from the floor. Dorian wanted to hug him in the worst way, but knew that would have to wait until later. “I killed the one by the door and knocked two out in the board room. Where is the fourth one?”

“He was taking some people to the bathroom when they knocked me out. He might still be in there, Dorian.”

Dorian went rushing into the men’s room and came out with the fourth robber. He had him in cuffs, also. He informed the captain and everyone else about the situation and they were flooded with MXes and cops asking questions. 

After John had answered all the questions he needed to and got patched up by the paramedics, he turned to Dorian and said, “So, you actually volunteered to work with MXes?”

“John, I thought they had killed you. They weren’t going to be able to live after that.”

“Thanks, Dorian. Now, could we go and fill out the report and go home?” 

Dorian helped John get into the car and the MXes got into the back seat. 

John turned around and saw them sitting there and he said, “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

“What did you have in mind, John?”

“Us. Alone for the drive, so we could talk.”

“It’ll have to wait for later,” Dorian said. 

They drove to the station and filled out the reports in a timely fashion. Captain Maldonado let them leave as soon as they were done. 

Richard Paul patted Dorian on the back and said, “Good job.”

Valerie said much of the same. Basically, no one was unhappy with Dorian killing the ringleader. Not that Dorian minded anyhow. He didn’t care what anyone thought except John.

!

As they drove home, John said, “You had a look on your face I’ve never seen before. I think it was rage.”

“I was filled with rage, John. They had no reason to hurt you, did they?”

“I was being good, I swear.”

“I’ll show you good when we get home,” Dorian said, stepping on the gas. 

“Now, you’re talking.”

The end


	25. Pity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is actually feeling pity for someone, but then realizes he doesn’t need to.

Pity  
Part 25 of the  
Feelings Series  
By PattRose

Summary: John is actually feeling pity for someone, but then realizes he doesn’t need to. 

 

Dorian had gone over to pick up Darren and bring him over to play cards with him and John. When they walked in, John always felt like he had to do a double take. They looked so much alike, but really they weren’t that much alike at all. As soon as one of them talked, John knew who it was. Their personalities were quite different. And John was glad of that. 

“Hello, Darren, it’s good to see you again.” John took his jacket along with Dorian’s and hung them both up for them. 

“It’s good to see you too, John. Dorian said he is ready to kick my butt. Normally that would worry an android, but now I know what it means,” Darren said. 

“Yes, Dorian almost always wins at cards when he and I play, too. So don’t feel lonely,” John reassured him. 

They started playing cards and John was on his second beer. “If we get called out, Dorian, you’re going to have to drive.”

“That’s fine with me, John. Are you going to call or fold?” Dorian asked. 

“I told you, he almost always wins,” John whined as he folded. 

Dorian called and Darren had a better hand, so won all the chips. 

John patted him on the back and said, “Way to go, Darren.”

“You don’t have to stay home and entertain me when I’m visiting Dorian, you know?”

John stared at Dorian, not knowing what to say. Finally, Dorian shrugged and said, “John and I are together, Darren. As in a couple.”

“A couple of what?” Darren asked. 

John burst out laughing, he couldn’t help it. “He means, we’re together in a physical and emotional way.”

“Really? And this works?” Darren asked. 

“Does what work?” John asked. 

“I was talking to Dorian. Does your equipment work with John?” Darren wondered. 

“I take it you’ve never been with anyone, Darren.” Dorian said. 

“I didn’t realize we could actually work like that. When did you find this out?” 

John felt himself very sorry for Darren. He not only was alone, but he didn’t know how to work things. John hated when people looked at him with pity in their eyes about his leg and here he was doing it to Darren. Pity wasn’t a nice thing to feel about anyone. 

“I’ll tell you all about it when I take you home, Darren.”

“What do you mean; you’re going to tell him all about it? It’s sort of private, don’t you think?” John asked. 

“It’s all right, John. He doesn’t have to tell me anything. I’m used to being alone, so it’s nothing new.”

John felt worse then he did before. “He can talk to you on the way home. Just not with me in the room, okay?” 

“Thank you, John and Dorian. I would love to hear all about this,” Darren admitted. 

“John has a very nice body, don’t you agree, Darren?” Dorian asked, teasing John. 

“Yes, he’s very nice to look at. And he always looks nice with his hair spiked up like he wears it.”

“Wait a minute, why are you discussing me?” John asked. 

“You told me I could discuss you with him,” Dorian reminded him. 

“I meant in the car, so I won’t know about it.”

“Oh…”Both of the DRN’s said at the same moment. 

“Is there anyone you’re interested in, Darren?” Dorian asked. 

“There is a woman in bookkeeping that always talks to me and is very nice. I wouldn’t mind trying some things out with her. How did you get with John?”

“You guys, you’re supposed to wait until the car ride back to discuss this. I don’t want to know what you tell him, Dorian.”

Darren laughed and said, “I like the way you blush, John.”

“I like when he blushed too. He’s very handsome anyhow, but when he blushes he looks so much younger with lots of boyish charm,” Dorian said. 

John just stared at them both, blushing even more. 

“I could do him,” Darren said. 

“Pardon me?” John asked, swinging his head from one DRN to the other. 

Both Darren and Dorian started laughing. Dorian was the first one to talk to his pissed off lover. “We’re teasing you about him never having sex. He’s been with a woman in bookkeeping for some time. He’s afraid to ask her over here. I told him not to worry, but he worries about how you’ll feel about it.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” John growled. 

“It was a joke, John. We wanted to see if you felt bad enough to share our life with him. You did feel that bad, but I think you pitied him and he’s not to be pitied at all.”

“So, why aren’t you bringing her over here to play cards with us? Are you worried I’ll say something stupid or something?” John asked. 

“She doesn’t know about Dorian. She might find it odd,” Darren confessed. 

“If I don’t find it odd, why would she? She’s bound to be more open about things than I am,” John pointed out. 

“You’ll tell her about me tomorrow and then you can come next week if she’d like to,” Dorian instructed. 

“Okay, I will.” Darren smiled at both of them. “I’m very lucky to have the two of you in my life.”

“We like you too,” Dorian said and then kicked John under the table and not on his fake leg.

John made a painful face and said, “I didn’t think I could get used to you, but you proved me wrong. I like you too.”

Darren smiled at both of them and said, “Thank you. I’ll tell her tonight and go from there.”

“Well, I’m never going to feel sorry for you again. You seem to do just fine,” John said. 

“Pity sucks, John. You should know that more than anyone,” Dorian reminded. 

“I know that now. I’ll be more thoughtful from now on. So, are we going to play anymore cards tonight or just talk all night and bore me to death?”

Dorian and Darren laughed long and hard. 

Darren said, “Now, that’s the John that we all know and love.”

The end


	26. Calmness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Maldonado notices a change in John Kennex.

Calmness  
Part 26 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Captain Maldonado notices a change in John Kennex.

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/calmness_zps28491e44.jpg.html)

There seems to be calmness within John these days. I don’t know what caused it and I don’t want to know. I’m just happy that he seems content and easier to live with. Even Richard has mentioned to me that Kennex is an okay cop these days. I made the right decision in teaming Dorian with John. Ever since then, he has begun to let down his shields and become almost human. I like John anyway, but I especially like this John Kennex. He smiles more, he jokes around with everyone and he tries to blend in. John used to believe that he would never blend in. And that’s where Dorian came in. He’s calmed John down and made him a happier person. 

And now that I think of it, Dorian seems calmer, happier and just all around better at his job. They must do it for each other. Like I said, I don’t want to know why, I’m just glad they’re changing. 

I’ve been watching the two of them lately and know that they are in love. Nothing has been said in the bullpen, so I believe that no one else has noticed this. I want it to stay that way. John would never hear the end of it, if people found out he was sleeping with an android. Dorian might seem almost human, but he is a machine. I don’t quite understand their relationship and don’t want to know about it. I would never pry. What happens at their house is their business. I just pray they never bring it to the station. 

John just walked in and he’s smiling. It’s a Monday for Christ sakes. Why would he be smiling on a Monday? He used to hate all the days, but especially, Monday. Now, he’s joking with Valerie and Richard and Dorian seems to be doing it also. Everyone is smiling and looking happy. I hate to break up this moment, but a call just came in and they need to go check out a dead body. They won’t be smiling after I tell them the news. 

I opened up my door and told them where they needed to go and all of them left for the morning and damn it, if John didn’t smile all the way to the elevator. And I think it’s contagious. Now Richard and Valerie are smiling also. Maybe I’m jealous of their calmness. I rarely get to relax and enjoy life these days. Maybe I’ll ask John what his secret is. No, I’d rather just leave things as they are. I’m sure this will all wear off soon and he’ll be back to his old grumpy self again. I find it hard to believe that I miss that grump sometimes. But this new John is nice to have around, too. 

I love this coffee that I’m brewing. If John was here, I’d ask if he wanted some. Maybe I just miss my friend. I’ll ask him to go for a drink tonight and we’ll just talk business as usual. I don’t need to know anything personal at all. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. 

The end


	27. Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian is left outside a building that exploded with John in it. He doesn’t even know what to do about his feelings.

Despair  
Part 27 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

Summary: Dorian is left outside a building that exploded with John in it. He doesn’t even know what to do about his feelings.

[ ](http://s71.photobucket.com/user/PattRose1/media/despair_zps95c449f3.jpg.html)

“Hey, Dorian, I’m going to head into the coffee shop. I’ll be back in a moment. Don’t go anywhere,” John teased and winked at his lover. 

Dorian felt all warm inside when John said and did things like this. Dorian leaned against the car and waited for John when the explosion hit. The entire building was down in just moments. Dorian wasn’t sure if John was in the back or the front of the building but didn’t care at this moment. He just wanted to hear he was alive. He waited hoping John would call on his cell, but he didn’t. Dorian put a call in for backup and called the captain to tell her the news. 

“Dorian, I’ll be right there. Don’t talk to anyone until I get there, okay?” Maldonado asked. 

“Captain, if they ask about the explosion, I have to tell them what happened. Don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything that will embarrass you or the station,” Dorian answered. And he didn’t say it nicely, either. 

The captain noticed her phone was dead. _He hung up on me._ She went to her office door and yelled at everyone that Kennex was down and needed their help. It was amazing how quickly everyone came to his aid. Not just humans, but the MXes, that he hated so much were all there ready to follow orders. Richard said, “I’ll ride with you, Captain.”

“Good, I might need someone to tell me to calm down now and then.”

“In that case, maybe you should take Stahl. She’s mellower. Was it the explosion that everyone is talking about?”

“Yes, it’s an explosion and I have no idea of anything else until we get there and talk to Dorian. He was outside when the explosion hit.”

“He never should have left Kennex’s side. You know how guilty he’ll feel now,” Richard said as they hurried into the captain’s car and took off. 

“Dorian said he was getting coffee. Why would someone blow up the coffee shop?” she asked. 

“Maybe the Insyndicate is following him and realized he goes there every single day and wanted to get rid of him.” Richard was just bouncing speculations off of her. 

Captain Maldonado said, “That makes more sense then you’ll ever know. It might have had something to do with his old girlfriend.”

“She’s been out of the picture for a long while, why pop back into it now?” Richard asked. 

The captain pulled up to the building, or what used to be a building and parked, hurriedly. They jumped out of the car and ran for the front of the building. Dorian was pulling boulders and bricks out one by one like a machine on fire. 

The captain touched his arm and said, “Dorian, I need an update.”

“He can’t breathe. I have to get some air into the area,” Dorian said, not stopping for a moment. 

“How do you know he can’t breathe?” she asked. 

“He called me. He’s covered in debris and can’t move. I have to help him, Captain. Now, stop bothering me.” Dorian went back to throwing the boulders and bricks like a person that had gone mad. Richard saw the MXes arrive and he told them to follow orders from Dorian. There were eleven of them pulling debris away from the opening of the old building and before long, they started finding people. No one was alive as yet, but Dorian still dug and removed debris. They all worked very hard and very long. The paramedics arrived to help anyone that made it out alive. 

Dorian’s face lit up and he said, “Where are you, John?”

“I can’t breathe, Dorian. I wanted to say goodbye,” John said, breathlessly. 

Dorian started working where he thought he heard the voice come from and the MXes moved with him. They seemed to know of his urgency. They all began to dig and claw their way through the mess and finally, Dorian saw John’s shoe sticking out of a pile of bricks. They started working like crazy and got John uncovered and Dorian yelled, “We need the paramedics.”

The captain, Richard, Stahl and all of the MXes watched with nervous tension as the paramedics tried to save his life. John finally started breathing and Dorian felt his fist real feeling of relief. Up until then, it had been nothing but despair. Dorian wanted to get down to John’s level but he saw the look on the captain’s  
face and knew there was a place and time for everything. Now wasn’t the time or place. 

The paramedic’s got John loaded into the back of the truck and Maldonado said, “Dorian, you ride with him. I’ll come up and get your statement.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Dorian jumped into the truck just as they were about to close the doors. Dorian sat down on the floor, next to the gurney and held John’s hand. John smiled through the oxygen mask and this made Dorian feel one hundred percent better. 

Every now and then John would tighten his grip on Dorian’s hand and Dorian would see the look of pain on John’s face. “Can’t you give him anything for pain?”

“We don’t know that he’s in pain,” Sam, the medic said. 

“Sam, he’s really squeezing my hand hard. I would say he’s in a lot of pain.”

Sam called the hospital and asked if he could give him something for the pain. They told him how much and what to give him. John loosened his hold on Dorian’s hand, but never let go completely. When he fell asleep, Sam said, “I guess you were right. We asked him if he was in pain and he said no.”

“He’s a tough guy and wanted to keep that image up, Sam.”

They all smiled. As they pulled into the hospital lot, nurses and doctors came out to meet them. They whisked John away before Dorian could say or do anything. A few moments later, the captain and Richard drove up. 

“How is our John doing, Dorian?”

“He seemed to be doing fairly well, but I’m not a doctor, so we’ll have to see what they say.”

“Dorian, you did a good job of saving his life today. He will be proud of you. We all are,” Richard said. 

“Thank you, Richard,” Dorian replied. Dorian still looked lost and alone. 

“Richard, could you go and get me a cup of coffee, please?” Captain Maldonado asked. 

As soon as Richard walked away she asked, “Did he really seem all right to you?”

“Yes, he was talking and doing fairly well, but you could probably go and see how he is if you wanted to,” Dorian suggested. 

“I will. I’ll be back.” She walked up to the nurse’s station and started asking questions and finally wrote something down and walked back to Dorian. 

“He’s been in his room for an hour. They didn’t feel the need to tell you since you’re just his work partner. I’m sorry, Dorian.”

“What room?” Dorian asked, quickly, trying to hide the hurt look on his face. 

“He’s in 256 and can have visitors, so let’s go up and see him as soon as Richard gets back here.”

“Captain, I’m going to go and check on him. I’ll see you upstairs.” Dorian didn’t even wait for a reply from his captain and she didn’t give one anyhow.

!

Dorian walked into the room and saw a bruised and beat up John lying there on the bed, sleeping. Dorian was never so glad to see his partner sleeping in his life. He walked over, looked over his shoulder to be sure they were alone and bent over and kissed John on the forehead. John’s eyes opened and he whispered, “Who do you think did this?”

“I don’t know, John. It might be Anna coming back to finish you off,” Dorian mentioned. 

“That’s what I was afraid of, Dorian. Why does she want me dead?” John asked. 

“Without your statement, she’s free and clear. With your statement she’s a wanted felon. That’s why.” Dorian picked up a towel, wiped the sweat off of John’s brow and said, “I’ll watch for her, John.”

“Thank you, Dorian. Will you stay up here tonight?” 

“I’ll do whatever you would like me to do. I’ll be sitting right by your side,” Dorian said softly. 

At that moment, Richard, the captain and Stahl walked into the room. 

Richard said, “Boy, are we glad to see you alive. We couldn’t get Dorian to leave the spot. Everyone else gave up hope, but not Dorian.”

“I told you he was a good partner, Richard,” John said. 

“Yes, you did.”

Captain Maldonado walked over towards the bed and said, “John the doctor said you were very lucky. You only have a sprained ankle and some bruised ribs. It could have been so much worse. I wanted to tell you that we showed Anna’s picture around and four different witnesses said she was around the building today. She might be behind it, John.”

“That’s what Dorian thinks too and he is rarely wrong, so I would guess they don’t want me alive.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you, John. I’ll be more careful from now on,” Dorian answered. 

“Dorian, you couldn’t have prevented this at all. If you were in there you would have been smashed just as everyone else was. And by the way, six people died today. She is seriously on our radar,” the captain said. 

Stahl said, “Is there anything you need before we all take off to let you sleep?”

John smiled when Dorian growled low and softly in his throat. “No, Valerie, I don’t need anything. Thank you.”

“Are you staying up here?” Richard asked Dorian. 

“Yes, I’ll be here all night long, watching out for him. We need to find Anna and soon.”

They all said their goodbyes and left the room. John smiled at Dorian and said, “You could move the spare bed over here and lie next to me.”

“No, I’m afraid that would out us to everyone. I’ll sit in the chair next to your bed,” Dorian said. 

“What about charging?” John asked. 

“Rudy is bringing up my small charger in a few minutes. You just lie back, sleep and relax. I’m going to take care of everything. You don’t have to worry at all.”

Dorian rubbed John’s temples until he fell into a deep sleep and then pulled the chair over and took up his watch. No one was going to get to John again, if Dorian had his way. Now, he just had to wait for Rudy to get there and he could charge for a little while and build up some of his energy.

Dorian fell asleep twice because he was low on energy. Rudy finally arrived and said he would watch John while Dorian charged. Dorian agreed, because he had to keep John safe. 

When Dorian finished charging with the small charger, he looked at Rudy and saw he was asleep. Dorian was angered for a moment, but then realized that Rudy was only human. He must have been tired. 

He woke Rudy up and Rudy seemed listless and drugged. John was still sleeping and Dorian tried to wake him. When he couldn’t rouse him, he called for the nurse. They all came running and started putting him on oxygen and checking his vitals. Dorian looked all over his body to see if there were any small injection sites and he found one. Dorian pointed this out to the doctor and they began giving him something to bring him out of the coma like state he was in. Before long, John was breathing better and opening his eyes. 

Dorian went out into the hallway and called Captain Maldonado and said, “We need some MXes up here. While I charged, I was quite out of it and she tried to kill him again.”

“I’ll send Richard and an MX up right away. Stay with him, Dorian. She means business and isn’t going to be happy until she get’s the job done.”

“Thank you, Captain. I need an MX up here when I charge, so no one can get to him.”

For the next five days, John was getting stronger and everyone was watching out for him. Anna had not tried to come in contact with him again. 

Rudy had stayed away, because he blamed himself for letting Anna get so close to John. 

Captain Maldonado put the house under surveillance so they could watch John day and night until he was able to take care of himself. 

John was dressed and ready for the ride home when Dorian said, “I’m sorry, you were hurt a second time, John.”

“Dorian, let’s not even go there. You haven’t called Rudy since then. He probably feels horrible. Call him and ask him to come over for a beer with me. I would like to see him.”

Dorian called and Rudy said he would be there in an hour. He sounded relieved to hear Dorian’s voice. 

Richard was in the house when they got there and John said, “Hey, this is my home. I don’t need people watching me in my own home.”

“I’m leaving now. But we’re close by and listening, if you catch my drift,” Richard said. 

John rolled his eyes, but Dorian looked relieved. 

“Richard, she’s not stupid. She knows who to watch for and who belongs here or not. I want everyone to leave and no listening devices at all. This is my home. I won’t fucking have her ruin this place for me, too.”

Richard collected the listening devices and said goodbye before he left. Dorian seemed upset that he was leaving. 

“Dorian, calm down. I just want to sleep in my own bed, in your arms and not worry for one night. Understood?”

“Yes, John.”

Rudy came and visited for awhile and left at about ten. Dorian and an MX were up all night long watching John like a hawk. But no one tried anything. For the next two weeks, Dorian was on edge, but John got released back to work and Dorian was going to have to deal with it. 

While they were in the car, John said, “I think she’s going to leave me alone for awhile. Time to focus on you and me, Dorian. Stop focusing on her. She’s using up all of your energy. And have I mentioned how much I hate having an MX living with us?”

“I can’t help it, John. I was filled with despair over all of this and I don’t want to deal with that again. From now on you’re going to pay more attention to your surroundings. We got too comfortable.”

“Have I mentioned lately how crazy I am about you?” John asked. 

“No, you haven’t. I’m crazy about you, too, John.”

Dorian knew that he was going to let his guard down one day and it would bite him in the ass. So, they were going to have to find Anna, if it killed both of them. 

The end


	28. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian is confused and takes it up with John. Someone’s not happy.

Confusion  
Part 28 of the  
Feeling Series  
By PattRose

 

Summary: Dorian is confused and takes it up with John. Someone’s not happy. 

 

John turned around from talking with Valerie and Richard and Dorian was glaring at him. _Well, what in the fuck did I do this time?_

As soon as John sat down at his desk he asked, “Do you want to go to the break room with me?”

Dorian answered, “As a matter of fact, I would.” Dorian got out of his chair and stormed off into the break room, hoping no one was there. 

John could do nothing else but follow. He would follow Dorian anywhere. John wished he knew why Dorian was angry. 

When John walked in, Dorian shut the door behind him and said, “Sit down, John. This may take a moment.”

John remained standing. “I just want to start out by saying, I’m sorry for whatever I did. You’ll have to tell me what I did, because I don’t have a clue.”

Dorian looked even more furious. “John, I’m in a state of confusion. When you want to have a tender moment with me, do you or do you not touch my back softly?”

John looked confused. “Why?”

“Because I thought it was something that you and I shared alone.”

“It is something you and I share alone, why are you asking me this crap?”

“You just got done touching Valerie the very same way that you touch me and then you winked at her. I actually thought you understood I don’t want you winking at anyone else, but you did it today. But, it was the touch that got me. You touched her with a tender caress and I’m very confused now. I don’t understand what is something for just us or not,” Dorian explained as best as he could. 

“I didn’t realize that I did that with Valerie. I’m sorry. Truly, I am.”

“John, I think we might need a break.”

“Dorian, do you mean like a ten minute time out break, or a break my bone type break?”

“Oh, like I would ever harm you in any way. That’s an insult to me. We need more of a break then ten minutes, John. I think maybe I should move back in with Rudy.”

“Wait a minute. So, because I did something I wasn’t even aware of, you’re going to move out of our home?” John was in deep shock. Surely, Dorian couldn’t be serious, could he?

“I don’t want to be in the same room with you right now. I’m angry and confused. Those are two feelings that I don’t do well with.”

“Dorian, I’m sorry. I promise, I’ll try and not be so touchy feely with everyone. Please don’t leave, okay?” John asked, quietly, so no one could hear him outside the door. 

“That’s just it, you’re very close to Captain Maldonado and you don’t touch her in the same way that you touch Valerie. You touch Valerie like she’s a lover or a want to be lover. I don’t share, John. You knew that.”

“I don’t love Valerie. Even if you weren’t in the picture, she’s a chrome, I wouldn’t fit into her world. Why are you so jealous of her?” John asked. 

“You touch her and look at her with a fondness that confuses me to no end. I just feel like I’m in the way.”

John walked over to Dorian and whispered. “I love you, man. I don’t want you to leave. We’ll talk about this when we get home, okay?”

Dorian was shocked that John was so close to him while at the station. That was a big thing with John. He didn’t want anyone to know about them. But yet, he didn’t mind touching Valerie. 

“John, we’ll talk tonight, but I don’t think you’re going to like what I say.”

“Jesus, Dorian. I didn’t fucking realize that I did that, all right? I’m not even going to say I’ll never do it again, because I might. It’s not a love thing with her. It’s a friend thing with her. Do you understand, now?”

“So, you touch the captain in the same way? She is a dear friend of yours and I don’t think you’re closer to anyone then her.”

“Good point. I don’t touch Sandra like that. I’ve got to become more aware of what I do with my damn hands. I don’t love Valerie. Hell, if I were to actually admit something, I feel sort of sorry for her. She’s so different then the rest of us and I might be over compensating for that. Do you think?”

“John, you were fucking flirting with her. I don’t like it and I don’t understand what you need. So, I’m going to Rudy’s after work.” Dorian got up and walked out of the break room. 

Richard was standing there and said, “Trouble in paradise?”

“Fuck you, Richard,” Dorian said as he walked by the man. 

John walked out and Richard asked, “Wow, what did you do to piss him off that much? I’ve never heard Dorian talk like that. It makes him seem almost human, you know?” 

John saw Dorian in the captain’s office and then he walked out and to the elevator. John went to Sandra’s office and knocked on the door. 

“He went downstairs for some diagnostic work from Rudy. He seemed upset, John.”

“Yes, I was being stupid as usual and did something that irritated him to no end. Could I go downstairs?” John asked. 

“No, we have a call. Grab an MX and get rolling. Richard is on it too. The address will be in the computer. Now, think about what you did, but not too hard, I don’t want you dying out in the field because you can’t keep your thoughts straight. Oh, what a great word, eh John?”

John just glared at her and said, “I’ll be careful, mom.”

Sandra laughed as John walked out and grabbed an MX and left the building. She knew the two men were in love, but John was going to have to change a few of his old ways in order to win Dorian over.

!

Captain Maldonado walked into Rudy’s lab and Dorian smiled at her. “I’m right as rain again.”

“I came down to tell you that you’re partner is in the hospital. He didn’t have his vest on and took a bullet in the shoulder. He’s in surgery right now. Remain calm, Dorian. I’ll take you up to see him, now.”

Dorian followed her not saying a word. This worried the captain more then anything. 

Once in the car, she said, “Dorian, you can’t show anyone how you feel while you’re up there. You have to be a concerned partner, but not a concerned lover.”

Dorian looked at her and saw a friend. This made him smile. “John is all right, I take it?”

“The doctor said he’ll be off work for about four weeks. I’m giving you time off to. You can take care of him at home. He’s going to drive you nuts. You may change your feelings about him after these four weeks.”

Dorian threw back his head and laughed. “I’m going to be a concerned partner and a nag while I’m there. He knows better then to go into a fight without his vest.”

Sandra pulled into a parking place and was amazed at how calm Dorian was. “I’m surprised you’re not flying into that hospital to see how he is.”

“I want to check on him, but I promised you I would behave accordingly. That’s what I’m doing,” Dorian answered. 

They walked up to the room and found Valerie, Richard and some MXes standing guard over his bed. John seemed to be out of it. His eyes were closed. 

Sandra walked over to the bed and said, “Why don’t you all head back to the station. We’ve got this covered. 

Valerie said, “I’d sort of like to see his eyes open before I leave.”

John opened his eyes and whispered, “Dorian, come here.”

Dorian walked over very casually and asked, “Yes, John?”

“Give me a hug, you big lug.”

Dorian didn’t need to be told twice. Dorian hugged him and held on to him for quite some time. 

Valerie finally said, “I can see he’s in good hands. I’ll see you at the station.” She walked out of the room and John said, “I’m sorry, Dorian.”

“John, I think it was Valerie that was giving off the vibes more then you were. I just didn’t understand. I’m not confused any longer. The captain was nice enough to bring me up here to see you and tell you that you’re in my hands for the next four weeks.”

“Captain, thank you,” John said. 

“We’ll see you later. I don’t want to see either of you for four weeks, unless I stop by the house. Do what they tell you to and come back in great shape, John.”

“Thank you, Sandra,” Dorian said and then hugged her. She was a little surprised at first, but then she let Dorian do his thing. When Dorian pulled away, she saw the tears in Dorian’s eyes. Then she looked over at John and saw nothing but love in his. 

“Take good care of him, Dorian. See you soon. I’ll stop by during the weeks that you’re off so I can see how you’re doing. Now rest and get well.” She then walked out of the room and Dorian smiled at John. 

Dorian was no longer confused. He understood that Valerie had a thing for John and John probably picked up on that. But John was his and John knew that. Dorian needn’t worry about a thing. 

The end


End file.
